Hello Salad Warriors!
How many of us have "been there, done that" with the food journal scribble? Have you started one, made it 3 days, whizzed through the burger hut and then quit? For me (I'm vegan) the burger hut is the morgue so that's not my vice. My vices come in liquid form and that's all I'll say about that. DOH!
However, since I'm all about NEW beginnings and turning over a NEW leaf these days (preferable kale), I recently saddled up with a NEW nutrition coach. I love him. I am so inspired by him. For now I will keep him a mystery but know that you will hear a lot about him very soon. Anyway, my mystery guru man and I are tweaking my diet in order to take me to a level of cleansing and repair that I have touched but never maintained. Yes I have fasted, been 100% raw, vegan etc. But I can honestly say that I have never been totally consistent with ANY protocol. I am human and I am PASSIONATE. Too much at times.
In preparation of (OK, anxiety over) writing my third book I've thought long and hard about what to say that hasn't already been said. Why bother (other than the pay check that I need), seems like it's all been said and done. However, the truth is that I haven't connected all the dots for myself yet. When I do, THAT'S the time to write the book. Obviously since I love writing, studying and EATING, why not become the curious, sparkly guinea pig once again? DIVE!
Here's the new nugget (from my guru mystery man). Are you ready? AM I!?!
"What you leave out of your diet completely WITHOUT exception is what can take you through the healing crisis so that your body will regenerate. BUT, you must leave it out forever."
COMPLETELY? FOREVER? Hmmmm. Forever seems so permanent. What about balance, moderation? What about all the go-to words in every self help magazine EVERY month. PS. Has anyone had a new idea lately? If so, I haven't read it.
This theory isn't new to me (what you leave out completely), in fact I wrote about it in my first book and learned a heck of a lot about it during my Health Educator training at Hippocrates. HOWEVER, it's the "without exception" part that I struggle with. What about special occasions? Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Presidents Day, Secretaries Day, MLK Day, etc? Whoa, when you list them you realize that our society has created A LOT of days to stir up our devil dog demons! How rude.
In order to track my success my mystery man guru has asked me to give him a food journal EVERY DAY. I'm not new to this either, in fact I help lots of folks with their food journals. Food journals are a great tracking/knowledge-is-power tool. Let's be real, if we want to make changes we need to know what the heck we are doing in the first place. We need a base line to measure our success. We also need to turn the frown upside down and become curious scientists who look at the food-as-medicine- journey as an adventure full of useful information. Instead, most of us DECIDE that the food-as-medicine-journey is the new slave trade burdened with deprivation, dullness, and chains. Wow are our minds powerful! Nothing good will come from that attitude, including healing. No DUH, right?
Anyway, I myself haven't done a food journal in quite a while.
Yesterday I handed in (how school girlish of me) two days worth of journals.
WOW, was I surprised at what I learned while tracking.
Let's see what guru says (more to come on that).
Food Journal Template:
Here's how I structured my journal, perhaps it might help you and/or you can make a suggestion to help me take it up a notch.
1. Write down everything you eat for Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. EVERYTHING.
2. Write down your purified water intake. My Suggestion: anywhere bet 4-8 8 oz glasses per day depending on how raw/high water content foods your diet includes.
3. Did you abstain from Caffeine? (Ouch)
4. Did you abstain from alcohol? (OUCH)
5. What supplements did you take? (I have been working to redefine this essential list for myself).
6. How was your elimination?
7. Did you exercise? If so for how long and what type?
8. Did you meditate? (Start small - 15-30 mins per day AS SOON as you wake up)
9. What time did you stop eating? (Best to stop 3 hours before bed)
10.What time did you go to sleep and for how long?
11.How did you feel emotionally and physically?
Note: I may start tracking my urine pH 3 times per day. Although the blood pH is the real snap shot. Nevertheless, urine is a loose gauge worth exploring. But remember, the first reading will always be acidic due to the metabolic process of over night repair. Therefore, start with the second reading and take the others BEFORE eating meals.
What kind of food journal have you tried?
Peace and chow scribbles!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
I'm sitting here drinking a cup of what-shall-not-be-mentioned (it's Black and GOOD) and mulling over what the heck to blog about. Should I write about the orange salamander I hurt while gardening? How I sat in a Greenwich Village cafe counting the gladiator sandals walking by, and lost count at 100? My meetings in NYC with TV execs and investors? (Ya wanna see me on the tube? - well, that just might happen. Ya want the best wellness programs designed and delivered by our Crazy Sexy non-profit - well that just MUST happen). Should I blog about what I ate in the big apple? Breakfast and lunch both days were clean, divine, and vibrant. Dinners both nights were sinful and belly-achingly explosive! OR....Perhaps I should blog about the colonic I had before leaving for the City. Let me rephrase that, the colonic MISHAP!
Since I'm in purge mode, I thought: the house is clean, the office is clean, the plants are watered, the bills are paid, now it's time for me to work on the inner landscape. Yup, time to call my colon therapist and get down! I've had zillions of hosings and as you know I highly recommend them, refreshing! However, nothing always works always. Maybe the universe wanted to send me a message, "You can't control the time it takes to process loss by losing the extra chow caught in your colon, Kris".
Since my little monkey died (thank you everyone yet again, you are such love troopers), I have been re-introduced to... french fries. Before sundown I am an alkaline angel, but when night falls I hear that eerie spaghetti-western music in my head. You know, the tune that plays when the outlaw rides into town. I sprint to the windows to lock them, I slam the door and shove a rag under it to keep the draft out. Useless! The french fries are like supernatural entities that attach to my lips and slide into my arteries creating that numbing effect that lobotomizes my rational mind and makes me a Vegas junkie!
Back to the colonic..."I will go, press re-start, clean out and begin again".
Let me teach you about the Catskill Mountains. In the Catskills there is much rain in June. MUCH rain. And everyone has a septic system. Well, apparently the rains backed up the filter that controls the pump that pulls out the poo. There I was, stuck and stopped-up right as it all went to shit... I will make the rest of this paragraph appropriate because my mother reads this blog. I imagine that she lights a little candle daily, praying for me to be more lady-like. "I tried" she might/must say. "Lord, if she ever gets an invitation to visit the Queen, please stop her from inquiring about Her Majesty's royal regularity. Amen."
The colon therapist left the room for quite a while. My stress level rose. I saw shadows of workers, plumbers, and buckets outside the shade-drawn window. Wrenches clanged as the concerned whispers hit a crescendo. Nothing would flush and I was FULL of water and shame. "Can I come back another time? Can you get me off this table and can I go home (if I can make it?) HELP! SOMEBODY, ANYBODY! MOM!!!!!!!"
Lesson: don't push the river (so to speak). Miss-virgo-neat-and-tiddy-sew-it-all-up girl, be patient you healthy lovely patient.
PS. I'm getting another one Monday!
Peace and flow,
Oh, wait... the whole point of this blog was to celebrate my 100th post and to thank you for sticking by me. Sheesh. Thank you friends! Thank you. Deep bow, thank you.
Monday, June 23, 2008
It's been a week since Crystal went on to her next life, or is it back to the cosmic energy hot tub to marinate? Where the hell is she? Her body is in my lawn and though I am happy she is nearby it is also creepy. Maybe I should have cremated her to make it really final. I feel like a bad mom leaving her out there in the rain. I think I am becoming very weird. I have met a whole other side of myself and that side is spooky. "Knock, knock. Who's there? Better Judgment. I'm here to tell you Kris that kitty needs to stay in the ground, you need not pull her out, blow dry her hair and place her in the green cabinet where she used to nap. Stop planning her escape, she is gone." I hate that Better Judgment asshole! I want more LIFE in my house, preferable hers. Too soon. Too fast. Where does the tick tock go? And as I said a few sentences ago, where the hell is she? Has she reincarnated again and if so what now? Purrhaps she will be the first female president of the United States. Since Hillary didn't pull it off it's Crystal's turn, except now her name is Eleanor. I hope her new parents have enough money to send her to Harvard and that she spends time abroad, she needs to be well rounded and learn about other cultures. But she also needs to watch her carbon paw print and travel responsibly. She has a lot to figure out. So do I.
Do we choose what's next? My mom used to tell me that I was sitting on a pillow waiting for the right combo to come together. I chose my mother and father because of all the things they would teach me (good and painful). Well, this was a shrewd thing to tell a kid. When times sucked it was a teaching, something I needed, something I chose in order to know more about the big picture. Seems hard to process this in regards to CanSer and the loss of kitty and yet both have made me stronger, have introduced me to my corners, have made me grow towards the light of my spiritually.
WHATEVER! Too much for a Monday. Sometimes it's fun to chew on this stuff other times it's like mental masturbation (sans the grand finale!) Nevertheless, I have gone a week without her and in that week I have ACCOMPLISHED much. My suffering has lead to ass busting, soul soothing manual labor. I must lift things. I must putter irrationally. Emails, deadlines, and office work can kiss my shrinking ass (grief is the best diet). I have scrubbing, snot/hiccup crying, and SHOPPING to do. My credit cards are swollen. They have chafe marks and blisters. Brian and I have been to Home Depot 500 times.
As I mentioned recently, we rented an office in town in order to separate our home from our work. Though the space is great it needs elbow grease. This makes Brian very happy. He LOVES Home Depot more than boobs. He loves wearing his tool belt on a daily basis. And of course since we moved our work stuff out of our nest I have to make the empty home space just so or I can't function. I normally wouldn't be like this. Death has changed me. I think Brian secretly loves the new me. One, I am more vulnerable, less bossy and angry, softer. Two, the new me appreciates "craftsman" tool expeditions and endless hours searching for the right electrical tape. Normally I would be very impatient around these activities. Now I love them. I am truly interested in drill bits.
Who am I? Where is Kris and what have you done with her feisty personality? For Christ sake I went to a garden center! I bought plants and re-potted them. To me this is like a midlife crisis. This is like really entering adulthood and saying goodbye to my youth. This is grown up and strangely comforting. HELP!
These are my new plants. I named them. They mean the world to me. It's unreasonable. Oh, shit, I get it. They are my first step in letting new life in. I'm not ready for fur (yet - and yes Martha I think 2 or 10 would be best) but I am ready for chlorophyll. If I kill these plants I will unravel and you will need to send a search team out to recover me. So far, so good though. I think they are happy. I think they are talking to each other. In fact, a recent article about plants in The NY Times says that they do talk to each other. Some plants behave differently depending on whether they sense a relative or an intruder nearby. In other words, they have recognition of kin. They politely restrain themselves by growing fewer roots when surrounded by family members, but grow aggressively when sensing another species. They even send shoots to strangle the stalk of the outsider!
How freaky neat is that? I wonder if they talk to me, to Brian, to Crystal. If they do I hope they tell her that I wish she would stop messing around and come home.
Peace and insanity,
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I have been hiding. I have been avoiding. I have been so sad my marrow hurts. Crystal (my dear sweet kitty angel) died on Friday and I just can't seem to get it together. I want to write but I'm stuck. I want to pay bills because they don't let you bring your juicer to jail but I can't open the envelopes. The only thing I can do is clean my house, clean my office, clean my attic, clean my storage unit and file stuff too. She was everything to me. Fifteen years of friendship. In the work I do I deal with dying everyday, I really thought I was further along. Losing kitty makes me realize that I don't know much. And yet what I do know is that ritual is the most powerful way to find closure.
It started with Roshi Joan's workshop on Death and Dying a few weeks ago. Thank God she opened the door for dealing with the loss of pets. I wanted so badly to focus on Crystal but with all the cancer patients around (me included) I felt like maybe it would be too "light". Well, when she spoke of the intense bond between her and her dog and how hard it would be to lose him, hot water poured from my eyes. I have dealt with my own death many times (no time soon - 90 is my goal - and since I usually get what I want I'm pretty set with that number). However, I can barely stomach the idea of losing someone I love. How to go on? How to deal with the intense missing?
Life is a terminal condition. If you watched me on Oprah last week (funny, it was a show on death) you heard me say it. Tis true, we're ALL going to die but how many of us will truly live? And what does that mean? Is it just another one of my cliche media sound bites? Well, in this raw state this is what I think truly living means:
1. Telling people you love them even though there is so much poison that you think you hate them. Once you say it you burst open with white joy and then you miss the time lost in the negative.
2. Doing things that make you really scared but really exhilarated.
3. Muting the voice in your head that is always worried, always tentative, always keeping you in the land of stuck. "Fuck it". "Just do it". GO.
4. Saying no to people who only take.
5. Saying yes to people who give you as much as you give them.
6. Opening your heart so wide that you touch a space that is unknown, uncomfortable and exposed. Staying in that space. Holding it. Holding it. Ahhhh.
7. Turning addictions into accomplishments. Nothing has you in it's grips. You are the grips.
8. Service to God/Goddess. Everything else will fall into place.
9. Sacred sweat, lots of it. Dance till you bleed. Laughing so loud someone complains.
10. Forgiving the world and then making it better.
And of course petting a kitty. Loving all sentient beings. Taking them off your plate and placing them on your sofa with a toy. Note: You may need a bigger sofa.
If everyone I meet is a teacher then Crystal was the ultimate sage. She adored ALL BEINGS. It was weird. Charles Manson could come for tea (or Bourbon) and she would have poured affection all over him. It was uncomfortable at times. "ENOUGH", I would say, "you're being creepy". But she had to pour it on that thick to get through some of my walls. She was sent to me for this very purpose. To teach me how to allow unconditional love in. I give it, but don't receive too much. Not that love isn't all around me. It is. I'm just very protective - or I was until the little grey love thunder came rollin' in. Now the steel is down and she is gone and there is so much ouchie, and endless thanks.
I am very grateful for way that she died. It was time. All her veins had collapsed. There was nothing we could do other than to facilitate her passage. She died in our garden, in my arms, her tiny paw in my hand, Brian's hand on my shoulder. Silent tears falling on her fur. The vet came and it was extremely peaceful and kind. In the Tibetan book of the dead it is suggested not to make chaos at the time of death. The spirit goes into shock and it doesn't totally leave right away. Who knows if this is true. Only one way to find out and we're not going there TODAY. But if it is true then Brian and I did it right. We held her long before and LONG after her death and then buried her under some fluffy moss with her favorite hair brush and a peony.
Again, I miss her.
Peace and purrs,
Monday, June 9, 2008
Just a little shout out to let ya know that my episode of Oprah airs again tomorrow! If you're new to the Crazy Sexy Lifestyle and would like to find out more about my book and film please check out my website, Crazysexycancer.com and if you are looking for holistic support on your road to health, check out our online social network mycrazysexylife.com. Our fun, sassy community is the best place on the internet for information, education, inspiration and LOVE.
In addition, we're about to start another group cleanse/fast and would love to help you dump your junkity junk. How Fabulous! Check out the cleansing group if you are interested. There is so much going on in all the nooks and crannies of our forum. Cruise around and find your groove tootsie!
Stay cool hot peppers. Wow is NYC a scorcher. Can't wait to head back to Woodstock and soak in some moss.
Peace, love and veggies,
Sunday, June 1, 2008
(OK REALLY… DEEPAK, DAVID SIMON, DAVID G, ME, MY HUSBAND AND 270 OF MY CLOSEST MEDITATING PALS ☺)
Happy Chill Sunday!
As some of you may recall a few weeks back I wrote a blog called HOW MEDITATING MAXIMIZES YOUR MANIFESTING MOJO. I was inspired to write that blog in part by reading a Deepak Chopra book from 1994 called THE 7 SPIRITUAL LAWS OF SUCCESS. As synchronicity and the universe would have it, out of nowhere my husband Vic and I received a big fat gift certificate to the Chopra Center from a friend who could not use it. This inspired us to sign up for a Meditating Renewal Weekend in NYC with Deepak, David Simon and David Ji. So the adventure began….
We got to the Park Central Hotel on Friday at 9am to sign up for our Primordial Sound Meditation Mantra and to spend the day learning about this style of meditation. We loved our main facilitator David Ji (AKA Greenspan). His story of transformation was incredible and his funny hippy vibe and delivery really made the information accessible (think of a Jewish George Carlin). He is supremely skilled as a meditation teacher/guru and thanks to him…I FINALLY got it. He explained when to meditate and why. He likened it to brushing your teeth. When you were a child brushing your teeth was a chore. As you grew up and realized your teeth will fall out without it-you just did it. None of us think, “Gee I won’t brush my teeth today-too hard”. We never think about it-we just do it. He challenged everyone there to get committed for 21 days and then decide if it is for you.
Psychologically this is smart. Really, how hard is 21 days? Creating a ritual or making it a habit takes all of the angst out of it. The question is not, “Should I meditate?” The question is, “Exactly when today will I meditate?” David Ji gave us two acronyms to take the guesswork out of the WHEN. The first is RPM, which means Rise, Pee, Meditate. (I actually Rise Pee Brush my fangs then Meditate) The second is RAW which is Right After Work. This is exactly how I do it. It helps that Vic is on board and created a sacred meditating space in his barn/studio. We support each other by being accountable and sharing our successes and struggles.
The first thing David Ji taught us about this type of meditation is that since we have 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day, stopping thoughts is not possible or the point. Having thoughts and an active mind while meditating is not, “doing it wrong”. It is normal. The goal is to get comfortable with gently drifting from your mantra to thoughts, and when you realize you have drifted away from your mantra…just drifting back, with no judgment. He gave us the visual of mist rising off a lake. Make it that easy and effortless. Someone asked David Ji, “What is SUPPOSED to happen when you meditate” and much to my relief he said, “NOTHING. “ He went on to explain that meditating is about the other 23 hours in the day. Being in silence and stillness for an hour a day will affect your ability to be a little more reflective and a little less reactive in your life. He encouraged us to take a thimble or shot glass full of silence and stillness back to our waking lives everyday and to be mindful of the subtle changes in our words, deeds and actions.
In Sanskrit mantra means mind vehicle. So the mantra that is given to you is based on Ayuvedic teachings and they say it is the sound that the universe was making at the moment of your birth. They took our birth info and calculated our mantras before we got there. We were then given a specific time and room to go to receive our mantra. The room was dark with candles and incense. The giver of the mantra was sitting there and then came over to me and whispered it in my ear three times. The whole scene sort of had a Twin Peaks/Tim Burton vibe. Covert and mysterious…and we were instructed that the mantra was not to be shared with anyone. Repeating something that has no meaning to you, over and over is a way to gently keep your mind away from thoughts and in the zone. Deepak calls the zone the GAP, where all the potentiality of the universe lies. Friday night we meditated for 30 minutes in a group of our closest 270 meditating pals and for the first time in my life, 30 minutes felt like five. I was amazed.
Deepak, rockin’ some red crystal rimmed glasses and red shoes, gave an amazing talk about what must die in your life to make room for what you are creating. He also lectured on manifesting and the basis of all human suffering stemming from the illusion of separateness.
The third facilitator was David Simon who is Deepak’s partner at the Chopra Center, an MD and a prolific author in his own right (The 10 Commitments-Translating Good Intentions Into Great Choices and many others). He gave 2 very effective talks. The first about integrative health and the mind/body connection and the second about love and how to get your needs met.
We did yoga and meditated every day. We met wonderful people and were so moved by our experience that we signed up for a six-day retreat at the end of October in California called Seduction of Spirit with the Chopra posse. But the real take away for me was this amazing new ability to meditate and the awesome guidance and support that came from David Ji. He just emailed a shout out to the group making him self available if we get stuck☺
So I am journaling about my experience daily and have already seen a shift in my life. Meditating has given me a slight time delay before I react in a situation. I think about it and then DECIDE how I WANT to react. I am observing more and evaluating less. Since 30 minutes of meditating is more restorative than 30 minutes of sleep, I choose to get up earlier to make it happen. I really loved this experience and would encourage anyone who can, to do it. Go to www.chopra.com and check it out. They schedule weekends all of the country and beyond. I hope that some of my a-ha moments will inspire your meditation practice. I would love to hear your struggles and successes.
Your Crazy Sexy (VERY ZEN) LIFE COACH