Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Future looks bright!

I am blown away by the overwhelmingly positive response to the film! What can I say? Speechless. You melt my heart, I'm proud and humbled for the opportunity to hold up this crazy sexy mirror for you. On behalf of Brian and I and the other Crazy Sexy women in the film (my heroes) deep bow, thank you.

I love this quote: "My actions are my only true belongings." Amen.... So let's get busy ya'll! I want to take this title wave of energy and turn it into something useful for each of you. I will take the next few days to sift through your thoughts but I think we really have to start a national posse! Right? I got 950 emails today! We just need to have a tea party in a STADIUM!

We CHOOSE to be empowered participants in our healing. Each of us has that power and no matter what happens, cancer cannot take that away. I am so happy that you were inspired, it makes me walk on velvet clouds. But there is much to do and we have a long way to go. I'm sick of the box, it's broken and we have to think outside of it.

I will be on my book tour for one month (make sure to visit) but when I get back it's time to move some mountains. I have a few ideas up my sleeve and plan on collaborating with some amazing folks (including my friends at The Urban Zen Initiative), in order to change the way patients are viewed and cared for. Can you imagine if it was hip and crazy sexy to take this journey on a mind, body spirit rocketship?

What are your thoughts? Tell us! Workshops? (with fabulously fun and sparky nutritionists, healers, experts and guru's) Crazy Sexy Posse Support Groups? A forum on the website? I will be working on the resource section over the next month and there's also a great section in the back of my book. But you all need more! So many of you have emailed me about nutrition and integrative medicine, and next to smashing stigmas, health is my passion. Folks, what we consume is bigger than the chow; it's what we eat, drink, THINK and FEEL.

Some of you shared some real dark times but CSC made you feel a little brighter. Everybody's singing some kind of blues! Being human is truly tricky. But there is so much we can do to make energy deposits instead of withdrawals, to soar rather than sink. So as long as I still feel fantastic, I'll keep spreading the soulshine. Let's create a laser beam for change, a beam that is so focused and bright that it burns and glows into a ray of light that washes the planet and tickles the collective giggle.

Electronic hugs,

PS. If you'd like to see the show again, the sweaky wheel gets the oil. Email or call TLC Viewer Relations department at: (859) 342-8439, or on the web at:

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


Holy Crap-o-la, it's here! Finally after 4 long years our film will be premiering on TLC at 9 pm tonight! It's been a Seussical week of hairspray, eye contact, nerves and media. Hope you lovelies caught some of it. The Today Show was a trip! Each time I felt like I was about to sound ridiculous, hurl or cry, I pictured my cancer cowgirls (and dudes) on this blog and your triumphant
love-shine flooded me with a collective electric embrace. I am rivetted by each of you, your stories inspire me more than I could ever inspire you. I wish we could all hang out in sweats in my tiny living room tonight! Organic popcorn and tissues for everyone. Really, the film isn't sad at all. Remember, it's a cancer adventure story!

Now that the dust is settling (yeah right, I leave on Tuesday for a month long book tour) I will blog more. If you get a hot tomato minute, we'll be on Access Hollywood tonight and also the CBS evening news with Katie Couric, check it out!

Ok, off for a quick nap.

Peace and veggies!

Ps. remember it's a documentary NOT a series so hang in folks, it's 2 hrs long.

PSS. If you liked what you saw go to the TLC site and post on the Crazy Sexy Forum!!! Thanks loves.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Crazy Sexy WHAT?

My mom always said I liked to stir the pot with a glittering spoon and wow was she right! Ever since the TLC ad started running I've been getting oceans of letters of thanks, praise, big love and who the hell do you think you are!? Huh? I wasn't ready for that. Once I saw the TLC commercial I got it. I love TLC, but quite simply the commercial does not represent the film. If you want know what all this crazy sexy chat is about, read our site and watch our trailer. Some of ya'll think it's a reality show! NO. But if it was, how do I get voted off the Isand?

The title was meant to kick cancer in it's place, NOT to glorify it. Tragically, cancer is sometimes a part of life and too many people give it more power than the nasty thing deserves. Cancer is a BIG part of my life, it is a chronic disease that I may have to live with forever. Cancer ISN'T sexy, the soulful women who have it ARE. We are warriors, angels, vibrant hot tomatoes and cancer can not take that away from us. Cancer cowgirls are empowered, whole, thrivers with or without the disease. I refuse to let cancer break my spirit, victimize me, or make me feel like a sick person - so I CHOOSE to believe that I am more alive, beautiful and yes, sexier (AKA empowered, passionate and intriguing) than ever before! Why not?

A little back story for you, Crazy Sexy Cancer was originally the subject heading for the mass email updates I would write to my friends and family. I wanted them to know that just because something really scary and dark had changed my life, I hadn’t changed. I still had my sense of humor, I was still willing to poke fun at things (especially stigmas), to challenge perceptions and flip the script. I wasn’t going to amputate parts of myself to fit into the new (and tiny) cancer box.

I don't look at my journey as if it is a battle (partly because I hope I don't lose) so instead I call it my cancer adventure story. It is a documentary film about how I coped with cancer. Since there is no cure and no treatment for my disease I live with it everyday. By calling it crazy sexy cancer I demystify it and redefine it for myself. It makes me feel a little lighter and a lot stronger- NOT shackled and shelved like damaged goods.

Cancer is still something people whisper about and feel shamed by. I understand feeling angry and powerless in the wake of this disease all too well. But aren't we all so tired of swallowing the pain, suffering and words we dare not say? Who doesn't feel like roaring? Crazy SEXY cancer makes me feel liberated. I hope it does for you too. Sexy doesn't come from a black dress, perfect size 6, great boobs etc. Sexy women are confident and powerful gals who speak their truth. Sexy isn't sinful and nasty, it's electric and loving. What do you beautiful (oops, is that a bad word too....he he he) divine gals think?

PS. If you are into this message and it means something to you, go to the TLC forum and speak your truth!

Peace and love and so much glitter!

PSS. Thanks Especially Heather for the title of this blog. I love you and you look goreous sporting the bald is beautiful look! Rock on sista!

Monday, August 20, 2007


Sometimes life just whizzes by way too fast. No matter how much we get done, we’re always still behind. Ever feel like your life is living you? Like the woulda-shoulda-couldas are eating you up? The constant race to relax is crazy-making. A break from your routine is what you need. When the going gets too tough . . . the tough go on vacation! Even if it’s just for a long weekend, recharge your batteries on a mini soul vacation. Retreats of any kind can help you reflect and process all the changes cancer has made in your life. If you can’t afford or don’t feel well enough to take an extended vacation far from home, treat yourself to a more low-key getaway: a day trip antiquing or a long walk on a dusty open road. Even spending an afternoon just lying on a soft blanket in a pretty park can do wonders for the soul. What’s the saying? “Sometimes you have to leave home to find it.”

It's been years since my last Cancercation and wow was that a mistake! I was "too busy" even though I supposively woke up to the importance of slowing down after my diagnosis. It's easy to kiss enlightened and then still slip back into your former type A habits. But I am proud to say that in the calm before the Crazy Sexy storm Brian and I are sitting on the beach in Montauk, a well deserved break! Each of us needs down time, a return to me afternoon, day, week or YEAR! Cancer just intensifies the importance of touching the soil.

Remember, just because you have cancer doesn’t mean you can’t go out, enjoy life, and be you. Unless you’re in treatment and feel like a truck has hit you, in which case you are a queen and for the time being you get the biggest piece of emotional birthday cake. But whether you’re feeling fine or not, never think of yourself as a Sick Person. So often we wait for all our ducks to be in a row, our closets to be neat and tidy, and our endless to-do lists to be checked off before we allow ourselves to have fun. We believe that only after we get all our “stuff” done can we take a deep breath and live.

Well, cancer doesn’t wait for order. In fact, it thrives on chaos. Breathe now. Burn the lists and let the dust bunnies roll like tumbleweeds. Narrow your focus to what really matters: you. Cancer is unknown territory. Will life ever be the same? I hate to burst your bubble, but no. Can you still drink wine? Maybe. Dance on tables? Yes. Go on vacation? Absolutely. Be “normal”? Why would you want to be that?

Friday, August 17, 2007

Soul Shine

I'm a classic rock kind of gal so when I woke up this morning singing "Soulshine" by The Allman Brothers. I thought why not write a little more about the glow. Remember that bluesy tune? "Soulshine, better than sunshine, better than moonshine, damn sure better than rain." Well those fellas were on to a deliciously universal truth.

Ever since the TLC commercial for my film started playing, the Crazy Sexy word, is rippling out to the ocean of people experiencing adversity. We've been getting hundreds of emails a day, 99% of which are EXPLODING with love and big thanks sista! But, what about that 1%? Since I am a story teller, the 1% of folks who don't understand the name (which I'll blog about next week) or HATE the sunny message (and love to tell me where to put it) make me think long and hard about the human condition. I learned pretty early in my acting career that if you believe the good reviews you have to believe the bad ones too. As soon as someone says you're the next champagne supernova someone else will let you know you're a turd. No thanks!

My friend, the celebrated and beloved author Marianne Williamson had me on her radio show "Oprah and Friends" the other day and Marianne said something about the book and film that made me giggle a big Amen, Aho! Yahoo, she said, "you catch the beam and shine it out girl". Very cool right? So why did it make me blush and feel uncomfortable? Because happy can be spooky! I used to think it was arrogant to show my happiness, like I was bragging if I shared the good things in my life. So I joined the hurd and bitched with the best of them. It's just so easy to do. Politics, the environment, the economy, the war, you name it, there is plenty to complain about! Then I got slammed by hurricane canSer, my levees broke and my world was drowning. In that moment I realized that the secret to happiness is the decision to be happy.

CanSer is here so now what? Fold up Kris, or find your eagle feathers? Happiness doesn't come from a permission slip. When I focus on what's wrong in my life I some how seem to get more of it! There’s no question, canSer changes your life forever, there will always be a BC (Before CanSer). Yet, I have chatted with so many people who say it was the best thing that happened to them. Why is that? Because if you let it, canSer will take you to your zero point and teach you what it means to live like you mean it.

The Talmud says, "During the time of the darkest night, act as if the morning has already come." Act as if. Buddha (the ultimate dude) taught that the purpose of life was suffering and the end of suffering. Which to me means that when the sh@t hits your personal fan, swim deeper than you've ever been willing to go, where blue becomes black, that's when you'll find a buried treasure of diamonds (and oxygen).

The opportunity for happiness is staring you in the face right now. Wink back.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

How do you stay so positive lady?

Hello Crazy Sexy Goddess and Gods (thanks Amy!)..

So I've been getting this question a lot from reporters, bloggers and even my mail man. Let's dish it!

I wrote in my book that survivor isn't a term, it's an attitude. Survivors are like tea bags, ya never know how strong we are till you dip us in hot water. Right?!? I still have cancer but the day I started to call myself a survivor my whole perception shifted. As women and men with cancer we live every day with a mind bending weight on our shoulders. We tiptoe on the razor-edge of mortality, one hand touching the heavens, the other grabbing the earth. We juggle dying with living while paying the bills, doing the grocery shopping, picking up the kids, changing the oil, fixing that damn leaky pipe. Are we not “surviving” while managing the demands of a busy life? The planet doesn’t stop and wait for us to get well, so why should we? And why should anyone define us as anything other than the dynamic hot tomatoes that we are?

I'm a winner now, not when this dark stigma thing is over. I can’t put my life on hold because of cancer. To do that would waste my time and energy. Plus, I wouldn't give cancer that kind of power. I have a lot of things to do! Ultimately it just takes more energy for me to be negative. Life is a terminal condition, cancer patients are just more aware of it. As someone with a chronic disease, if I spend my precious days in anger and outrage I’ll miss the good stuff, the cake, cartwheels and the sunshine.

For me, it’s just easier to stay in the light, to stay positive. Negativity is exhausting and brings my entire vibration down. Now that said, I am a human being and some days are tough, tough, tough. When they are, sit with them, feel them, let them soak in and then maybe, just maybe, try to find the giggle. Isn't it all just so silly sometimes. Cancer is a strong wind and if yoga teaches me anything, it teaches me to sway with it. Some days you want to push the river but perhaps in those moments you can wake up to the force of it, grab your golden inner tube and float baby float.

Remember this too, your only true belongings are your actions. Today (8/15/07) my action is to choose to find the good, the uplifting and the love. It's all around me. My cat just came over for a little scratch and pat. Ahhh, a sign!

No one is more powerful than you. Not even that silly little "c" - canSer. Remember to spell it wrong just to piss it off.

Peace veggies and a heck of a lot O' love to each of you,
aka Cancer Cowgirl :)

Friday, August 10, 2007

My first Crazy Sexy Blog!

Every day I get letters from so many people around the world, letters that make me laugh, weep, blush and roar. Crazy sexy fans are quite an outrageous, outspoke, and revolutionary crew! You stomp with fire and grace and it's just so exciting to watch this movement take root. Each of you inspire me to continue creating, learning, sharing and above all, pushing boundaries! Thank you, deep bow, thank you my friends. The next few weeks are going to be pretty nutty, so please keep checking the website for details.

On 8/27 my book Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips will be giving J.K. Rowling a run for her money. Ha! On 8/29 our (me and the hubby) documentary film Crazy Sexy Cancer blazes on The Learning Channel (TLC). We are so proud and excited! It's been like waiting for christmas, like having a baby (twins actually) and washing and re-washing my hospital outfits.

Since our premier at the SXSW film festival in march we have been on a disco roller coaster. Oodles of survivors with all kinds of experiences - not just cancer, even regular ole life (cause damn it's complicated sometimes) have been joining the bandwagon. Why? Because I think we tapped into the sweet spot, the place in each of us where possibility meets human potential. Where curiosity hugs "why not?" Here’s the deal, cancer is a just a silly metaphor, like it or not, it’s in each of our lives in some way. For me it’s tumors for you it may be a bad job, your weight or a dead end relationship etc, etc. It’s spooky but it doesn't have to be taboo. It’s just life, so we have to wake up to it! Some skeptics have asked “what’s so sexy about cancer lady?” My response: the women who have it! We are crazy, sexy, whole, loving, surviving, delicious women, so get out of our way! Granted, it's not always easy to be positive but more often it's a pain in the butt to be blue.

What do you fabulous cancer cowgirls and fellas think? Flood the inbox! And sweet dreams...