Monday, August 20, 2007


Sometimes life just whizzes by way too fast. No matter how much we get done, we’re always still behind. Ever feel like your life is living you? Like the woulda-shoulda-couldas are eating you up? The constant race to relax is crazy-making. A break from your routine is what you need. When the going gets too tough . . . the tough go on vacation! Even if it’s just for a long weekend, recharge your batteries on a mini soul vacation. Retreats of any kind can help you reflect and process all the changes cancer has made in your life. If you can’t afford or don’t feel well enough to take an extended vacation far from home, treat yourself to a more low-key getaway: a day trip antiquing or a long walk on a dusty open road. Even spending an afternoon just lying on a soft blanket in a pretty park can do wonders for the soul. What’s the saying? “Sometimes you have to leave home to find it.”

It's been years since my last Cancercation and wow was that a mistake! I was "too busy" even though I supposively woke up to the importance of slowing down after my diagnosis. It's easy to kiss enlightened and then still slip back into your former type A habits. But I am proud to say that in the calm before the Crazy Sexy storm Brian and I are sitting on the beach in Montauk, a well deserved break! Each of us needs down time, a return to me afternoon, day, week or YEAR! Cancer just intensifies the importance of touching the soil.

Remember, just because you have cancer doesn’t mean you can’t go out, enjoy life, and be you. Unless you’re in treatment and feel like a truck has hit you, in which case you are a queen and for the time being you get the biggest piece of emotional birthday cake. But whether you’re feeling fine or not, never think of yourself as a Sick Person. So often we wait for all our ducks to be in a row, our closets to be neat and tidy, and our endless to-do lists to be checked off before we allow ourselves to have fun. We believe that only after we get all our “stuff” done can we take a deep breath and live.

Well, cancer doesn’t wait for order. In fact, it thrives on chaos. Breathe now. Burn the lists and let the dust bunnies roll like tumbleweeds. Narrow your focus to what really matters: you. Cancer is unknown territory. Will life ever be the same? I hate to burst your bubble, but no. Can you still drink wine? Maybe. Dance on tables? Yes. Go on vacation? Absolutely. Be “normal”? Why would you want to be that?


Bizzikid said...

What you are saying is so true for everyone(with or without canser)! You have to "live" life...we seem to be creatures that say - I will do this when... (fill in the blank) or I will be ready when ... Instead, we just need to LIVE - and as I say it - LIVE OUT LOUD!
Love what you are are inspirational to many!
Many Blessing ~

w.andringa said...

Hello Kris, I just heard your interview on The Group Room and subsequently found my way here. First, I have to say that I like what you are doing! Its really the first time since my diagnosis (2005) that I have heard another young woman's story that was similar to mine (mine involves a different, yet indolent, cancer). I have yet to discover my "cancer community", if I ask myself why I think it leads back to the fact that it is just a small part of my life, and as I know no one else my age with chronic disease, it just isn't a topic of conversation. Therefore its nearly impossible to find others who share my story. And hard-core support groups are not my scene, I found out. You, on the other hand, have let your experience unlock a creative door and, with a LONG reach, have been able to inspire so many others!! Very well done!
I have marked my calendar to watch this Crazy Sexy Journey on Aug. 29. Thanks, and I will stay tuned to your blog!

christeleb said...

Hi Kris,
tonight I'm going to pick up your book at Borders. I already know I will love it. i'm 36, was diagnosed in April 07 colon cancer stage IV. I have a one year old girl. Life goes on, everyday is a new day. We are all so young. An ER doc (very cute one) told me once "you are too young to be dealing with this shit!". That's true, but now I met some many other young people like you that I don't feel lonely anymore.
i often don't feel crazy or sexy, but i love the title.
Thank you for existing. I will be watching your documentary on Aug 29th.

Joy said...

Kris - You are an incredible chiclet! My friend Lisa and I are breast cancer warrior goddesses (age 39 and 46) and we've been living out loud all our lives. CanSer hasn't stopped us or slowed us down. We both worked full-time through chemo and rocked our looks. I had an auburn wig and wore false eyelashes. Now that my hair has grown back - I think the wig was better! Just kiddin. CanSer has given me an opportunity to connect with so many people. Lisa still wants the *&(^ Cancer black cap on your website and I bought her the "Cancer Sucks" teddy bear when she was diagnosed. There is definitely a way to be happy and still face the unknown with pure aggressive fighting. We're realists but also optimists. YOU are leading the way out front with your book and documentary film and for this we thank you!


SurvivingStrongSince05 said...

I am so glad I am not alone in living strong and living life like I never would have before. I was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia 2 years ago, 2 weeks later my pap came back bad and I needed a colposcopy and then leep procedure. I opted for a hysterectomy. So needless to say it was a very eventful couple of months. I have always accepted "canser" as part of my life now, it is me, especially since CML is a chromosomal mutation. IT IS ME. I work 7 days a week to keep busy. I am 41 with a 14 year old and a 16 year old who I have started teaching how to drive my brand new 5 speed Honda. I savor those moments more than I think I ever would have pre-canser. My signature on all my emails is a quote from Dr. Andrew Weil, "Regard illness as a gift, it can be such a powerful stimulus to change, perhaps the only thing that can force some people to resolve their deepest conflicts, successful patients often come to regard it as the greatest opportunity they have ever had for personal growth and development-truly a gift" and boy is that true. People don't understand how I push myself but it makes me feel alive. Just lately I have had coworkers tell me what an inspiration I am to them. That was never my intention but it sure helps me wake up in the morning.
See you in New Milford
Lynne in Wingdale, NY

debbie said...

Love love the concept
I have lynch syndrome, genetically I am prone to cancer. May never see it again or it will come knocking on my door. I will be there to answer it with a smile.
@ 40, had had stomach cancer (stage 3), had an operation, chemo, radiation and worked. 5 years later 2 more separate incidents of colon (stage 1) and small intestine (stage 2) cancer. You can say a 2 for one deal. Had half my large intesine and 6 inches of my small intestine out. I was working on my laptop the day I was out of the hospital
I love the great attitude. I feel like I have never been sick.
You can't let it take you over. You have to roll with it because it is like everything else we do. A part of life.

Peace to all

Sarah said...

I really wish you were coming to Nashville! One of my friends that I've ridden horses with for ages was diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease at age 17 when she went to the doctor because she had hurt her neck in gym. What they found was a tumor in stage 2a. She kept riding and competing with us throughout her chemo and we all wore matching bandanas when we competed after she lost her hair. She's been in remission for 2 years now, but she is/was definitely a CSC chica!

Just Me said...

Thank you!! Just a huge THANK YOU to you for your attitude and for spreading the word about what it is like to be a young adult with an incurable disease.

I was made aware of your documentary through fact FIVE close young adult friends who are all battling rare life-threatening illnesses right along with me...friends all brought together due to our illness - and nothing...NOTHING could ever tear us apart...even that "thing" that we all fear and don't even want to name...

Thank you for your inspiration.

My medical journal/site...

Jamie said...

It's great to see someone come out and speak about what so many women are going through. I was diagnosed with an incurable indolent lymphoma in March of this year and found myself feeling very alone. My family and friends want to help but have no clue what this feels like, it's great that this will shed some light on living with cancer and maybe help women like me find support with other survivors. My name is Jamie and I'm 35, have 3 teen daughters and plan to grow very very old!!!
Thanks for all you're doing!!

georgia said...

I have watched the trailer and then read about you. I am 37 and was diagnosed with cancer last year; treatments are now complete and the sun is shining, but after reading about you and listening to your trailer, it's shining all the brighter! What a fantastic message and approach. Be so very proud of yourself and keep on keeping on:)

Trisha Ekstrom said...


I just watched your trailer this morning with simaltaneous tears and a smile. I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year at 28. For me it was a huge stop sign in my life that said: "STOP! You can't move on until you get some shit figured out." And I'm still figuring out what that life look like. I loved the line you wrote, "It's easy to kiss enlightenment and then slip back into your former type A habits." It's so true. My intention for this next year is to hold onto the lessons of cancer and not let myself slip back into those old ways of doing, doing, doing. I can't wait to see your documentary on the 29th!!!

Be well,

hotbaldchick said...

Hey Cowgirls- Thankyou for this site and especially this post. I was so pissed at the world yesterday and today because my PET scan didn't show the completely negative results I was hoping and praying for. On top of that my doc is such a pessimist. The problem is that I don't know where else to go. I'm now considering alternative therapies to fight these leftover tumors (if they are in fact tumors). I'm fighting to stay positive. I've been waiting to be back "normal" but youre right what's so good about "normal"? I'm never going to be "normal", I'm a hot bald chick who also loves to wear a different wig each day if the spirit moves me. I also love to travel and dance and do whatever. So, when my next disability check comes I'm booking a vacation. Better yet, I'm calling up my boss and telling her I'm ready to go back to work! F@*k Canser! I'm living.

dragonflyae said...

Hi, I just found your site and would love any kind of chat... I am 36 and recently diaganosed.

spiganator said...

I'm a big fan of this blog - so much inspiration and passion here! Us gals will move mountains!

But has anybody been to the TLC chat page for Crazy Sexy Cancer? I can't believe it - there are people really angry about the title and are making judgements about a film they haven't even seen. They are hung up on this "sexy" thing. It's like an alternate universe over there!

Granted, I saw the TLC ad and it was kind of lame, but still.... I wish they could hear the energy coming from these pages here!!!!

Any thoughts on why the hang-up on "sexy?"

Amy said...

FANTASTIC job on the Today Show! I ended up taping it, yes, the old fashion way, with my trusty VCR from 1994 because I had my 6 month appt. with my rad oncologist at the same time. As I prepared to go to the appt. the usual anxiety of "I've been really tired lately, does that mean something? My rib hurts,could this be cancer?" started dancing through my head. But alas, no I said, as I put on my sassiest skirt and cool summer top, today I go to my oncolgist as my sexiest self. The appt. went great, the hurt rib probably due to the new yoga pose I tried last week, being tired is normal and all in he said I look great.( he must mean sexy I said inside my head)
Kris, I truly felt your calm, honest, and beautiful sexy energy you shared on the Today show all the way over here in Idaho.
You kept spreading the good sexy cancer karma and before long everyone will be spreading it too. To those on the TLC blog, please don't let cancer take hold of you! Don't give it any more power than it already has- you are sexy and be sure to show cancer that sexy comes in all differnt forms!
Amy the Crazy Sexy Cancer Goddess said...

Great blog

Jamie said...

My boyfriend and I sat watching Crazy Sexy Cancer, and I fought back tears at the fact that someone else knew what I knew, felt what I felt, said what I couldnt say. My boyfriend looked at me often with that "Ohh, that's you!" look. Thank you for sharing with the rest of the world what so many of us cant say. I love your spirit. Many beautiful years to you and your wonderful husband.
Hugs to you both!

Jamie said...

Hey it's me again!! I just wanted to thank you yet again for taking your time to talk to me at the book signing near San Francisco. I have been reading Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips since i picked it up that night and find myself laughing often, and saying "wow i know that feeling/thought" alot. Thanks for signing my book by the way heehhe. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate the time you take to make everyone you meet feel special, I loved meeting you!! Maybe you could come to Sacramento too and I'll come see you again!!! Yayyyy!
Big love back at'cha!