Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Greetings from Hippocrates!

Hello grass drinkers,

Day 3 at The Hippocrates Health Institute and I feel like poo. That’s right, poo. At home I juice everyday, guzzle lots of water with aloe, cell food, & green powder, eat a mostly raw vegan 80/20 diet, and I sleep well - very well. Hmmm, clearly it’s not enough.

But let me be very honest, I love caffeine (I'd marry it) and I am a physical sloth (writing 2 books in less than 2 years will do that to you). That's right, I hate my sneakers. HATE. The laces are threatening. Most days I drink black tea instead of battery acid but either way I have a habit. I could drink green tea but it gives me the potential vomits. White tea is the best if you're doping. Yerba Mate is good too. NO caffeine is optimum. DUH! I pathetically try to convince myself that my daily 2 are fine, especially since my diet is so clean – NOPEY. Sooo here I am feeling the cold turkey, drill baby drill head throb, and cursing the Irish Breakfast. Oh, one more confessions – dark chocolate. I’ll leave it at that.

What’s the solution? Well, there are a few.

1. Suck it up and let the toxins move out slowly.

2. Get a colonic (Thursday).

3.Do the damn enema and implant that you are supposed to being doing twice a day but aren’t.

4. Drink the wheat grass that is delicious and ready for you. But for some strange reason you've been forgetting – yeah right.

5. EXERCISE! For Goddess sake Kris (yes I am talking to myself – babbling actually) EXERCISE! I swear it’s been months and this will not do. Forget CanSer – CELLULITE is a deadly disease and my left thigh caught it. Now I’m awake! Now I’m ready to move my lymph.

Yesterday began with a blood draw followed by live blood analysis. I knew my blood wouldn’t look great because I went on antibiotics recently for a nasty-mean wisdom tooth infection. Even so, my blood looked pretty awesome. There was a tiny bit of stacking but mostly lovely cells - well except for one itty-bitty-not-so-great thing – YEAST!

For fucker’s sake I have Candida. The beast, the bear, the nasty little jerks who require a 3-6 month of no sugar, grains, alcohol, choc etc to cleanse. This blows big time. I’m not surprised. Yucky confession: I have a few fungus spots on my back (which I blame on a damn dirty yoga mat). Is this too much information? Hmmm. Well if ya have it on the outside (that means you toe fungus people) then you have it on the inside. Clearly it’s time to schedule a cleanse. Luckily I have a huge inner adventure planned for January. I’ll be detoxing my little butt off in Arizona for 3-4 weeks. Major stuff but more on that later, I'm still in denial.

For now, it’s sprouts, green juice, water, wg, enemas, colonics, infrared sauna, salt pool, and EXERCISE. Hopefully I’ll get really inspired and bring this home with me on Sunday. It is pretty cool to watch people transform here. They take the classes, eat the food, blow out the toxins, feel like crap, cry and complain and then voila - the sun breaks and the smiles shine. More from the trenches soon.

Peace & yeast,

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