Thursday, March 6, 2008

I swiped the cancer card on a crack head


Hi gang of sassys,

Sorry I've been hanging in our other town/CITY more than I have been here. As you can imagine it needs a lot of attention right now. If you haven't checked it out, do it! I'm hoping that it will grow into a magical wellness world, not just for cancer survivors but for everyone who passionately lives like they mean it. :)

OK, now onto my drama..

I swiped the card on a crack head. You did WHAT? I swiped the card on a crack head. I KNOW!!!!! I sorta feel awful about it but I swear I had to unload my fire. Rewind to last Sunday morning, it was 6:30 am and I was getting ready for my appearance on Fox & Friends. On media days I really try and center myself, prep my points, meditate and pray for the holy sparkle to speak through me on the national boob tube. There's nothing worse than sounding like a wart or a fart in front of an awful lot of good folk.

Since the show tapes in NYC, Brian and I stayed at our Brooklyn pad the night before. I love our little home, it's a zen oasis. However, a certain resident on our block (who just happens to share our walls) has become the hostess with the mostest low brow shit. We're talking old school New York low. Many times we're awakened in the middle of the night to the screeches of the HO holla howel! Then the furniture starts flying. It's a 24/7 skank bazaar.

On this particular morning the "traffic" in and out of the karma wasteland was worse than JFK on a holiday. I tried, I swear I tried to send light, see the divine in all, remember the oneness, pray and marinate in compassion... SNAP! I tried and I failed. I mean worse than Linda Blair in the exorcist kinda snap!

I rocketed down the stairs I ripped my front door off the hinges and released a barage of verbal right hooks and upper cut combos. Then it thundered out of my mouth: I HAVE CANCER YOU JERK! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I HAVE CANCER!!! AND THERE IS A CANCER IN YOUR HOME TOO! YOU ARE VERY BAD PEOPLE! JUST STOP!"

Whoa... (air gasping sound effects)....Whoa.....

I shook. At first I felt proud, because I think I scared the crap out of everyone and made them feel really bad and dirty guilty. I hoped that their self focused destructive behavior was rattled by the reality check of a "sick chick" and the sick world around them. The noise promptly turned down a few notches and the traffic swerved to the far side of the steps. But then I started to feel really dirty myself. I've never swiped like that before... Ok once... I needed help lifting my ginormous AC and my old super was a lazy pod person. In desperation, I told him that my cancer was "acting up" and that I needed him poste haste. It worked, but I dared not do it again. Plus, Brian told me upfront that he would not stand for faking it nonsense, "just because you have cancer doesn't mean you don't have to do the dishes!" He was right.

Yes, I still have cancer but as you all know, I'm fine, I live with it, no biggie and it doesn't stop me from working like a dog. Which brings me to the question, when is swiping the cancer card in poor taste? Am I going to get a Karmic paddle for that stunt? There have been some really bumpy work explosions this week and in the back of my mind I wonder if the universe is punishing me.

Make Juice not war, but while you're at it swipe the card responsibly!

Peace, veggies, and shame,

PS. I hope you don't think I'm rotten.


Chris in Wyoming said...

Oh honey, we don't think you are rotten! You rock! I am laughing at your post...not your pain. No universe punishment, no cosmic slap. Just life rearing up at us now and then. I love what Brian says...too true. Same for this-it was just messier dishes.

Swipe responsibly!
Chris in Wyoming

Angelica said...

i don't think you're rotten. I don't think that it was unnecessary. because I've lived with people that rowdy and ghetto before and well if they see you're healthy or at least think you are its an invitation to fight. by you swiping the cancer card you got your point across no altercation needed. you just wanted them to shutup.
i get ya girl.

i wrote you in that email once on myspace about my cancer card swiping with a crackhead... he didnt care so perhaps it doesnt really matter u know? some people care if u have cancer some just dont. and the cancer card only works with people who have a smidgen of caring for the world outside their skin. so my point is i think you calling on their shit with a dose of hey theres bigger fish then your Domestic violence only helped them to center back to reality and humility for a bit.
its a win win situation if you ask me.

bav said...

Ok, sister, enough with the self-flagellation. You are, and have been, on overdrive for far too long. Your boundaries have been blurred, perhaps even breached. Yes, all in the name of work, good intentions, etc. but you are human, girl, your ends get frayed like the rest of us. At least you went off on skank neighbors. If it makes you feel better in the last 2 weeks I have gone off on not one, but 2 doctors - my oncologists, in fact. When you can't get peace in what is your own sacred space, honey, I would go off too. LET IT GO! Don't focus on the incident, but perhaps reflect on the cause. Do you need more Kris time? Do you need to steal 5 minutes here and there throughout the day to meditate? Is it time for a luxurious massage to move that lymph, release some toxins? You get my drift. Why were you pushed over the edge? Is there something more you could be doing to take care of yourself? And if I am way off base and none of this resonates, then the simple answer, no I don't think you are horrible. If you swipe the card with people for selfish, unhealthy reasons, then perhaps we would have something to discuss. To defend your need for quiet in your home, at an unreasonable hour for noise to boot, well, that makes you healthy, normal, and like the rest of us!!

Let it go... you have bigger things to give energy to.


Michelle said...

Hiya Kris, you my friend were totally within your rights to shout out on that brooklyn street! I simply do not understand how people can be so inconsiderate and totally not thinking! Whats up with that? This is 6.30am on a Saturday when most people are catching their zzzzz's! I usually awake pretty early too and if i heard loud crazy shit going on, you bet your ass i would be out there shouting too!! I cannot use the canser card can i, but i can use the "human" card! "Dude's shut the F--K up" Yep thats me! Sorry i hope you don't hate me now! Anway, Kris what i'm trying to say is that you were totally within your rights to use a library card, a business card, a canser card, or any of the above! Hope this helps in some way out way for you! :O)

P.S. I'm dying to run with you and brian in prospect park!!! ???

Unknown said...

Not only are you not rotten, but you actually helped them to see that the world does not revolve around them - thus guiding them a bit closer to their own personal enlightenment. :)

Lisa -- Cravin' Veggies said...

Seriously... if that is the worst thing you did... Sheesh!

I think that took every ounce of compassion and composure you had in you to ONLY go apeshit on them and NOT gouge out body parts with the canser card!

You are still a Rockstar in my book!

Lisa xoxo

Justice said...

My god(dess), it seems like you almost always try so hard to be compassionate. Sometimes you just gotta go there, hmph.

I just saw your video of C.S.C. and want to tell you how much I loved it! Your love of life truly comes through the video screen and how caring of you to share your journey with all of us.

Thank you Crazy Sexy Kris!

cancer cowgirl xo said...

I feel so silly. I know. You are totally right and BAV - spot on sister. Damn you know me girl. Thanks!

PS. I changed the name of my blog. That's a big step. The url, well that's more complicated.

Just having one of those days where I don't want the word "cancer" on all my letterhead etc. :)

wildcat said...

Someone with your heart, your compassion, your giving could never be rotten. All that you've done for us??? GIRL !

Have a quiet evening with your hubby, maybe a sip of wine (I said sip). sit back and enjoy...know you are loved by complete strangers for who you are. Who else can say that?

(If you feel bad about acting like that, oh dear, I'm gonna have to head to confession and I'm not catholic)

wildcat said...

And tell em if they mess with your precious sleep time again, you've got a posse comin after them...approx 400

Benjamin Rubenstein said...

I rented and watched your documentary last night and thought it was very well done. In a similar way Will Smith in I Am Legend inspired me to get ripped out of my mind, you inspired me to research and implement healthy eating, including going organic. I'll never be as strong as Smith, and I'll never go to food extremes like you, but maybe I can find a balance.

I think your documentary has a solid message and I have already encouraged two other people to watch it. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.

Witness said...

I agree with Lisa - If this is the worst thing you have done...- Give yourself a break, you had a right to be P.O'd for sure! Also, I think that just being AWARE that maybe you stepped too far, is forgiveness enough from the universe. BTW, love love ADORE the Life forum, it is my CRACK. Thanks so much for all that you do!

clint said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
clint said...

Kris Car ! ! You should be ASHAMED of yourself ! !

Crack Heads have feelings too !! . . . my God girl, what the hell were you THINKING!?!?

Ok, I'm totally fucking with you...

But really, ... I might have been concerend about say, a gun on the other side of the door, or something like that... one never knows... were you packin heat ???

As far as riping her a new assole, Bravo... am glad you ripped off a layer of anger from within, and let it out, as opposed to harboring it.

Hopefully using the "I have cancer" statement hasn't re-inforced anything, and attracted some negativity... ;-)

My unsolicited 2c

that is all

Debbie Young said...

sorry folks, need to break into the discussion for a Dee update: This is from Nessa:
She unfortunately is having a difficult time with the CAP. The coughing is causing a lot of exhaustion and pain, as well as pulling at her sutures from surgery which can't be comfortable. She's hanging in there though. She was reintroduced to liquids yesterday mostly warm tea, water and ice chips. Today she was able to keep down tea and orange juice. They're hoping to reintroduce soft foods tomorrow. They've been medicating her to try and help her get some rest but it's just making her loopy and restless, which doesn't help the situation. Hopefully we'll get her home and in her own bed on Saturday, I think being in familiar surroundings will help her get more rest.

So that said, say your prayers to godbuddhakrishna and hell, how about Clint while you are at it.. and keep a good thought for Dee Light Full....
Deb xooox
PS Kris: I have done much worse things in the name of just being forking pissed off so you are forgiven.. uhm, well by me at least. xoxoxoo

scnewme said...

Kris...mean and rotten, nah...maybe in a past life, but definitely not now. It is a pretty funny story, you gotta admit!! Bav is so right (and can I say how awesome it is to have her back home blogging advice - love you Bav!!) you are only human. Daily pressures and stress build up...unfortunately we can't always choose the moment we just happens.

Let's just be thankful it didn't happen on national tv - whew!

I try very hard not to "irresponsibly swipe" because I too am afraid of the karmic consequences...but let's not dwell on it. I have a swipe in bad taste story, but gotta run for now.

xoxo Sherry

Anne said...

Swipe away! Those folks needed to hear it. And don't second-guess the validity of your anger. I often get really annoyed with myself for rethinking and rethinking things like that--if I've blasted someone, no matter how deserving of it they were, I'll feel compelled to apologize or get all anxious about making sure they know I'm really not mad anymore.

I can't swipe the CANCER card, but I've certainly swiped the card--whatever I could think of--at other times in order to get a necessary point across. Your juju is still good, IMO!

Jennifer said...


You mean your neighbors don't know who the hell you are!? How do they not know? I mean you are Kris Carr! I guess crack will do that to a person. So sad. People that treat their bodies like the enemy really piss me off! Some of us have to work extra hard at keeping our temples running at peak performance, and then you meat people who live like their in a race to the finish line of life and it makes me shake my head. Don't you dare feel bad about spouting off. Now I have that song in my head, I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout, when I get all steamed up, hear me shout, tip me over and pour me out! OK, that felt good.


I've been in contact with Nessa too. Thank god for her, right. I couldn't sleep last night, worrying about Dee. I'm really worried. I hope the flowers cheer her up. You are right, there is nothing like your own bed. Let's all prey like mad that she gets some sleep tonight, that the pain subsides, that the cough gets calmed, and she gets better asap! I miss you like crazy Dee!!!!


Dr.Sue said...

You're not rotten. I guess you could of just slapped themm upside the head or kicked their asses, but then you probably still would've felt rotten and the LAW may come knocking at your door!
BTW, what does a wart sound like?
Love ya, shitkicker.

Michelle said...

Hi, Kris sorry, just wanna ask, are you going to be on Fox Friends on Saturday still? What time, i wanna catch it!

skyecat said...

LOL, well Kris, I typed a whole message on the blackberry while commuting home on the bus and lost the darn thing. So, here goes again...

I would have done the same thing...Linda Blair spewing her you know what all over the head spinning round and round and I probably wouldn't have waited as long as you did. And God forgive me, but the peace love and understanding would have gone right out the window in the first minutes...of noice and diatribe.

I am one of those people who needs their rest--and I can tell you that the crackhead dredges probably are too embedded in their addiction to pay close attention to anyone else's story...maybe for a few minutes, but then back to the pipe for them.

I hope that they will find new digs and leave you and Brian at peace...if your home is a Zen environment and a place of comfort you do not need any pesky pests intefering with that!

But girl, the door off the hinges--must be all of those green juices, you don't know your own strength!

It's okay to swipe the card as necessary--and the universe will not play any cruel tricks on you or send bad Karma your way--you are too good of a person, too earthy and sweet for that.

As for Brian and his message about the dishes--he sounds like an honest and loving husband who loves you very much--enough to tell you what he knows you need at the time...that's a rarity you know. It seems to me that you have a soulmate there and how blessed you both are.

Well enough from me, I've got to get to the gym for at least a half hour...



skyecat said...

P.S. Sorry about my spelling mishaps, and I ordered the DVD this morning and am looking forward to receiving it.

Peace and goodnight all...hope you are all doing great.

Jennifer said...

Another Dee update,

Nessa says Dee is at a really great hospital, and all the food is organic, and NO food additives, ets.!!!!!!So tomarrow she may start getting soft food, and we don't have to worry about it being that aweful nutritionLESS hospital food, that I'm used to seeing. Also, she said they are keeping track of her blood count levels, and everything else under the sun, and she is responding to the antibiotics. Thank you Jesus!!! Maybe she'll get home to her comfy bed and all her pups in a few days.


Unknown said...

Bav, you said it best this wasn't a cancer explosion but a type A explosion. Oh hell, we all have them

Anonymous said...

Oh Kris! You are not rotten in the slightest! Everyone snaps. And you had good reason to snap-sometimes I snap because my hair is extra frizzy. AND its not like you snapped on Jesus- or a cute puppy... Girrrrl- I would have flown down those stairs so fast I would have won a medal for it. I probably would have been so frustrated I would have run out there in my skivvies!! (and who needs to see that..) Bav is right though- whats behind the frayed edges. I had to ask myself that the other day as I was driving to school and flipped out on the person in front of me for driving like a snail. Yes, I was that person. That road raged monger driving down the road like an idiot. And when I realized it, I thought "why am I acting like this??" Well it didn't take long for me to find the answer-my plate was full!! I know your plate is MORE than full--and you probably have ten plates. And a bowl. No need to fret about it though- just go buy yourself a present :)

And by the are fucking hilarious. Pardon my language. But wow. You are funny. I don't mean to laugh at your pain but .... I read the title and it was over from there. You add "wart", "fart" and a good old fashion "skank bizarre" to the mix and you have comedy gold. Ok, funny lady- you have a good night!!! Take a soak in the tub with some extra wonderful bath suds!!

Mary Ann Wasil Nilan said...

Swipe away, sister! One day I was with my 'healing team' and decided to add to the usual raucousness - I answered everything with, "I can't. I have cancer." We laughed our a**es off because, you know, nothing could be further from the truth!
Hope Lives~
Mary Ann

Anonymous said...

oh Kris... that was too funny. Thanks for the laugh... I needed that.
I totally agree with bav... perhaps a lil time off? Get yourself centered again.. that massage sounds good!
I just had a lymph massage today actually. Was amazing, totally needed it.. go get one girl.. you totally deserve it!
xoxo Kristy

*heather* said...

Oh, Kris have to archive these stories because one day, there's a fabulous one-woman show in all this. (Not to give you any ideas or one more thing to do...Bav's right, Kris time seems the order of the day!)

Second, third and fourth of the above -- sounds like you were totally entitled to the proverbial can of whoop ass that was opened on your less-than-savory neighbors.

Be as good and gentle and kind to yourself as you're always encouraging us to be.

Jennifer and Debbie - thanks for the Dee updates. She's on my altar tonight for sure.

Sleep well lovelies.

~~ Melissa said...

by the time I got to the A/C part of the story, I was seriously snorting with laughter! It's bad ass stuff like this that makes you even more lovable.

Benita said...

Yes, Kris-you did good.And the right thing.Speaking up for ourselves is part of the healing process. And the fact that your"neighbors" piped down and HEARD you means that you exercised your righteous indignation with authority and power-maybe spoke to that human part of them that all that noise had been drowning out.

holistic chick said...

No sweetie, not rotten..just human (and hilarious)! I love your writing, gave me such a clear visual on the whole incident.
"Make juice, not war" should not count for crackheads!

Love ya!

leenda said...


Perhaps you need Marisa to weigh in on swiping your card!She'd agree it should not have been DENIED!

No Access Denied,

elaine said...

Hey Kris! There is NOTHING wrong with drawing a clear line in the sand so their poison does not impact you or your environment. You were justified my friend! And by the way, cosmically, you put so much postive energy out there, the scales remain tipped in your favor! Don't sweat it sista!!
Elaine in Bklyn

Lauren said...

OHmigod!! What Bav said -- ditto.
You are too funny! I love it. Now, I think if it felt cathartic then it was a positive thing to go off, but if you felt bad about it afterwards or more angry then maybe you're frustrated about something else. The insane neighbor might have just been the final straw. But honestly I think that sounded like a crazy situation where anybody would probably go off.
"My cancer is acting up" That's hysterical. Sounds like my brother who was recently diagnosed with celiac disease, which is something no one has heard of. So he'll tell people if he eats a piece of bread he could go into Celiac Arrest.
Funny stuff.

Iffat said...

Oh Kris, How come they don't even know you? Come on! they deserved it then. They were bothering our Hero.
I am glad you took it all out and didn't keep it inside.
Believe me, I would have done the same thing if I were in that situation. AND YOU, my friend are NOT rotten. You are a shinning STAR which enlightens people's lives.
AND I am Serious, If they didn't know our Hero then they really deserved it.
LOVE and Blessings

Jaime said...

hahaha Kris that made me laugh - and I desperately needed that today! As someone living with an unfavorable roommate (although not a skankfest, thank g-d!), I give you props for speaking up for yourself and bringing some sort of sanity back to your homeplace!

you go, girl....

Lifeistooshort said...

My sister sent this website to me tonight - at a time when I really needed it! Our dr. is sending my fiancee to a specialist for a lump on his tongue. It may not be cancer but since he already talked to him about the fact that if you catch tongue cancer early...don't wait...(blah blah blah) I'm not feeling really optimistic that it's "just a lump". And of course the specialist can't get him in until NEXT Thursday. But as I was reading all these wonderful blogs (I have no idea how many hours I've spent on this site today) I had already decided that I was going to do everything in my power to keep him (and me) healthy - and positive through this "adventure". But I think I'm in trouble...he's already swiping the "card"...he comes in (and remember he's a man so we haven't cried (well, that's not really true - I went to a parking lot by myself to do that) or even deeply discussed the dr visit yet) and he says, "ok, since I have cancer this means I get sex any time I want it, right?" And we both laughed as we wanted to cry - but maybe this is a good start - that we can laugh our way through our tears...thanks for all the wonderful, inspirational, educational, humorous words - from all of you!
Gotta go get the books and the DVD now....

Doubting Thomas said...

I would not be the person I am today, if it were not for cancer. Funny as it sounds, it has made me a better person (most of the time...LOL, after all, I like you am human and sometimes things can just make us....snap)
I am a 3 time cancer survivor (age 10, brain tumor[Menegeoma], age 21 Uterine Cancer [discovered when I was 6 months pregnant], age 36 skin cancer), as well as a 30% Service Connected Disabled Veteran (US Army 6 years). I am adopting my Husbands Boys that have been living with my Husband and I for 11 years, after my Husbands X stabbed him the in the stomach, in front of the boys. One needs a heart transplant (his heart is functioning at 30%, One is Bipolar, and one has post traumatic stress and Oppositional defiant disorder. I have tried to teach my kids, that nothing is so bad, that you can not over come it. Laughter goes a long way to making yourself, and those around you feel better. I refuse to go to bed angry, and I refuse to wake up angry. I try and make the most out of every day (including taking time to stop and smell the roses). I just turned 46, and have done so much...I lived in Europe, I sang in a band, I play Cello and Bass, I love my kids, I have a great Husband...and you know, I don't think I would have done so much if I had not had cancer. My personal philosophy about life reflects the Tim McGraw song “Live like you’re dying” P.S. One of my few remaining goals in life, is to learn to surf!

Doubting Thomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joy said...

You're not rotten, you're pardon the expression...completely normal:) I've done it with an out of control geriatric neighbour, and yes ya do feel like oops, maybe I should shut up. But there is a smugness I find in swiping, cause folks just back off, it really is kinda cool. You are right, please swipe with care. You rock miss thang.


Elizabeth M. said...

Debbie and Jennifer - thanks for the Dee updates. sure hope she is feeling better soon. Organic hospital food?! wow! those two words seem funny in the same sentence.

Kris - Your post is great! Way to go - and pretty brave too..(I have this cartoon image of you as superhero, (you know, the Wonder woman pictures?)ripping that door off the hinges. Very funny and powerful at the same time.)I can tell you that I'm swamped in my little corner or the forum...I cannot imagine managing the project as you guys are. At the end of the day some rest and quiet are essential. Hope you are able to find extra time to take really good care of yourself. Remember what the announcement on the airplane is... "in the event of an emergency, put your own mask on first, and then assist others"
Cheers, Kris - you are fab

Unknown said...

Kris- I totally agree with all the comments of others here. You are human. We all are human. I have to be careful, when I am totally fried, not to bring out that card myself. Again, when I am overwhelmed is when I see that card poking out, sort of tempting me to use it!

Don't be too hard on yourself. If possible, take some time off, if only just a few moments a day. I try to do that when work, kids, life, get too much for me. I am incredibly strong and have amazing endurance, but when I lose it, I lose it!

Besides the cancer card stuff, I have little tolerance for the inconsiderate. I do all I can to never impose upon people, and not only does no one seem to notice, no one out there seems to have any common courtesty or common sense! Ugh!

Be kind to yourself, Kris! Make it a point to do something fun this weekend, and try to put your feet up for a while!

LauraB said...

Wow, it is nice to be back. I just rose off my serious sick flu-bed. I have had a fever of 103 all week, it is amazing how having a fever of 100-101 is so normal feeling after this week of hell. My 2 boys have been sick and home as well and my husband has had his busiest week of work. I think we have a few more days of this, but for now it is time to comb through the mess and laundry that has piled up. I literally left the planet for a few days. I need to check back into CSlife too. I miss it so much. wouldn't you know it, this was the week my 2 year old decided he wanted to wear underwear ....exhausting, but his little tush does look so cute with The Wiggles plastered onto his behind. Oy vey, can you tell I haven't had on ounce of adult conversation for 5 days!

Kris, no worries girl! I think you may have done us all a favor. Who do these people think they are, having no respect for others around them.....sorry you had to go through that and have the ill-feelings of a tantrum, but mission accomplished. I just got my markers back and it showed no evidence of cancer, but I think I would have done the same thing. I have many wounds and side-effects to show for my battle with cancer and I can't promise the card wouldn't have been swiped in the same way....look at it like this, you just took one for team! Teams support and love each other through thick and thin. We have your back!

In fact, I did just swipe the card myself, but in a more light-hearted way. I have a birthday coming up and this is the first one in 3 years that someone is not having surgery or treatments. (My son had his tonsils out 3 years ago and then the last 2 were me.) My husband is going to be traveling in Asia during my birthday so I am planning a girls night for myself. I actually said to my friends, "If I have to swipe the cancer card to get you there I will." I know my friends can make it out but we all have little kids and most husbands work late blah blah blah...too bad. I am celebrating with my girls.....April 3rd, come celebrate with me!

Debbie Young said...

@ lifeistooshort: you are in the right place my friend.. send hubby too when he is ready.. our Clint can help him with "man stuff".
lots of good wishes to you both

kelly montgomery said...

you are an incredible, expressive writer! you crack my up and make me feel as tho i was there. i think probably that you were just summarizing at that moment. since you were preparing yourself mentally to talk about all of the amazing things you are doing as a result of having cancer i think that you just summarized in those few words rather than trying to explain the WHOLE situation. that's my take anyway. thank you for being so transparent and sharing your humanity with us all. you rock BIG time!!

peace and grace,


Basic Me said...

Hey Hon.,
Are you upset because you yelled at them or because you swiped the card in an fit.. haha.. everyone of us has done that. I dont think you would have been feeling guilty if you had pitch a hissy fit and said 'I have a commerical tomorrow" so shut the f. up! Sometimes with neighbors you have to have a fit when the pleases and I would appreciates dont work. We are all human. Life happens. And you get pissed.. sooo it is ok.. everyone gets pissed...

Listen you deserve to give yourself a break. Now if it is a habit.. dont and it isn't so you acted our in anger.. who doesn't you are the same lovely Kris that acts our of love. SO you have had some moments with folks you work with and love.. who hasn't... it is ok.. you are tired and working all hours and running a big bs. I have to tell you- minister or no minister- if you get me at two a.m. up to make you a your apartmnent not mine because you have nothing to drink at 2 in the morning. WHOOOO ... boundries.. even a quad can hold a cup under s shower for a glass of water. I have been working for 16 hours today .... so I lose it.. life is what it is. Let yourself off the hook. And get some sleep. That was yesterday I know but the weekend is coming and I cannot wait. Yeah!!!! rest.. it has been on hell of a busy week.
And no bad Karma is gona get you.. it is fine.. you are loved and the universe gets pissed too. Callie

LauraB said...

to be light-hearted you can always slip him a SIGNED copy of your book or DVD. Let him know you rock the world....tell him to make juice and not war.

I am heading to Brooklyn next weekend for a wedding shower...never been! I could always pay him a crazy sexy visit and finish the lets not get nasty here....all in good fun I promise. :-)

green cheer on!

Tragicomedy said...

The fact of the matter is this:

You do have cancer, and stress, anxiety and other 'disruptions' in your life (ie: crackheads) can cause you to feel worse. Plenty of studies back up emotionally feeling like shit can make you physically feel like shit.

They carried on until you were upset and had they been the type of people who are not so wrapped up in themselves they'd acknowledge a world full of people exist and not just them.

We're all rotten in one way. I've used my epilepsy bracelet and card to get a chair at House of Blues (bottom floor doesn't have seating) and it wasn't for anything but my lazy ass.

If there's a hell and I go, I am positive it's the only place I will actually know people so I'm OK with that. :)

I got to sit in my chair several feet away from Rachel Yamagata, Schuyler Fisk, Meiko, Sara Barelles and many others. Going to hell is worth it in that case. Karma paid off, I got sick when I got home and had a seizure. So I try to justify my unearned chair by saying I paid for it in the end.

Jennifer said...

you are so funny. i've used the cancer card many times... with my husband.... "be nice to me I have cancer... or can you do this for me because i have cancer"... i know i'm a dork, but i don't care. i've had cancer for 10 years now and if i can get something out of it once in a while then so be it.

you're cool and i love reading your blog. :-)

Erica said...

This is the first time I've visited your site, Kris. I am a 28-year-old with leukemia, gearing up for a sub-perfect bone marrow transplant.

I love your spirit and your verbal alacrity! I too find it difficult to "play the c card" and have an overly guilty conscience about it. Not only do I feel anxious about saying that my burden is any greater than anyone else's, but I think I am terrified of people's callousness or if they just don't give a shit. As you do too, I often look healthy, so I just wither under any kind of skeptical look. As if I would LIE about something like that?? It's a tough call about when to remind people to be gentle, but when it comes down to it, we should all be gentle and kind (and neighborly and un-biyotch-like) to everyone we meet, whether they have cancer or not, right?

Erica Murray

Debbie Young said...

Hey Erica
So glad to meet you I have CLL, stage 0.
Please come join us at the crazysexy forum and join our leukemia-ites unite group!
tell us the date of your bmt so we can pray for you on the electic altar too.
love deb

Dancer said...

this is a funny thread.

just the other day, i almost used the card...i came within millimeters!

later i was thinking about the whole thing...i am actually pretty amazed that (i/we) don't end up using it all of the time. i mean, for the most part...i keep it to myself, and it sounds like you do too...

it really takes a lot of courage to live in the face of such a scary diagnosis....and then, to think that we don't use the card left and right...that makes me feel so strong!

--kris: i got my "Healthy Living" magazine today and read your interview. i sat there and cried my eyes out---my dog came to check on me, my 5 year old nephew came to check on me...and all i could do was sit there and cry--happy tears that some other young adult "understands" this craziness!
thanks for all that you do...very inspiring!

--lifeistooshort: i hope that you and your husband are hanging in there...the beginning/wondering/waiting...the place you are in is the scariest place. **keep breathing!

--erica: i hope your BMT goes smoothly. i just got into remission from leukemia and it is a really wierd illness to have as a young adult. i am thinking of you.


lani said...

Kris, I can't tell you how much I can relate to this -- my personal fantasy involves ripping off my wig and going all news of the world bat boy on my precious crackheads next door! (I also dream about asking them why a CANCER patient has to pick up the trash they leave in on the sidewalk -- yikes, right?) I can totally understand feeling bad about it afterwards (not that it's warranted) because sometimes the whole catastrophe of life can be so overwhelming. I've started to notice how often people think that because you have cancer you're somehow super human and have huge depths of strength to draw on, when sometimes frankly we've got only a very normal capacity for the everyday annoyances. I think all we can do is accept that sometimes that's the experience we're having at that moment and move on. Wishing you quiet slumber this weekend...

lani said...

One more thing I should have added: I not only fantasize about swiping on crazy neighbors, I've definitely done some colorable swipes. To wit, this week my coworker was laughing at me for forgetting some things, and it really pissed me off because I have always prided myself on being miss organization, miss detail oriented. Well, I got my back up and actually said that I'd like to stick an IV of chemo in his arm and see how well his memory worked afterwards. Uh. Oh.

patricia said...

Don't be so hard on yourself however I do second what Bav said to you. I am sure you just need a break, a timeout, a spa day,a relaxing day of doing nothing.Pamper yourself girl. I know that seems like it would be hard for you to do since you are so good at taking care of all of us, writing books, giving speeches, doing interviews, making movies and so much more but really consider taking a day to yourself.
I must say though. I love your writings and you post really did crack me up. All in all you did nothing wrong and I know i would have done that same thing..however after reading Clint's comment I may not now...kinda scared me with the gun thing..never thought about just be careful cowgirl, we need to keep you safe :-)

Oh Dee, I hope you are healing and I am sending positive vibes to you. I miss your comments and your guidance that you have been giving to me lately. Heal well. We all love you and hope you are back home in your own bed soon.

Debbie Young said...

update on Dee;Please read the entire message.. Nessa sent this last night.. keep prayer cowpokes..

I have good news, and bad news. As many of you know, the more you have to be given antibiotics, the less effective they become. Unfortunately the antibiotics that Dee has been on for her CAP is not doing the trick. Her body is no longer responding to them. Some time after 11:30pm PST Friday night, Dee complained of a rapid pulsing pain at the base of her skull as well as a general feeling of something being 'off'. Within the next half hour, she had the shakes and could barely lift her arms. Her temperature spiked to 105, she had brief convulsion like symptoms and lost consciousness for ten-fifteen minutes. The good news is that she has been stable for the last two hours, awake, alert and responding well. They have upped her antibiotics and are checking her stats every five minutes. She seems to be improving. At this time it is unsure whether or not she will be able to go home later this afternoon as planned, but I will be sure to keep you all posted. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, she's the toughest chick we all know but she's not invincible. If you have any questions or concerns, just let me know.

Take care,

I will tell you more as I get it.. our cowgirl is in the rodeo folks and holding on to that mean bronco..let's give her silver spurs of love and care and prayers...

leenda said...

Hi Deb & Neesa.thanks for the update.Extra prayers for our girl are in order.She really needs a break right about now.
Hopefully the flowers will get to her today,and it will lift her spirit to a higher level.
Much love and prayers going up,up,up..\Leenda

Amy said...

Kris, give yourself a break. You did what you needed to do at the moment and there isn't going to be any karmic punishment. You were frustrated, and tried to tell the slugs to shut up....let it go and consider the fact that you are burning the crazysexy candle at both ends...time for a break maybe. Time to regroup and maybe delegate some of your stuff. Don't be so hard on yourself...Amy

Martha said...

A friend of mine was in his last months of cancer (but not before going scuba diving one more time in Montserrat and meeting the "fifth Beatle" in person). He told me one night that his brother and sister weren't speaking to each other (which just amazed me, how can two closely related adults feel so strongly about something that they just won't speak to each other anymore).

So I said, "can't you play the C card to bring them back together?" Then I wondered if I should have said that. But his response: "I suppose I can give that a try."

I missed the funeral but am hoping that at least that one time the brother and sister found something in common to talk about.

Artax57 said...

Definitely swipe that card; I'm not shy about it. I swiped it a couple nights ago when I went on a rant at my stinking radiology office--(what WAS I doing for the last four years going for your effing mammograms and sonograms every year and six months? what good did it do me)--I swiped it at a nurse bitching and moaning about being one of her for ten of us demanding patients--I actually said loudly, to my stepson who was visiting, "oh boo hooo hoo for you bitch! go get cancer and a double mastectomy and see how it feels to ignore your beeps for my fking meds". Oh use it girlfriend. Because it's legitimate and real. If people can use the low self esteem card, then anything goes!

RachelRae said...

It sounds like you simply experienced a normal and healthy emotion! We still love you! ~Rachel

Debbie Young said...

A quick note from you mayor on Dee:
From Nessa,
Hi Debbie,
The prayer sounds amazing, I'll let her entire family know. They'll appreciate it. She's been teetering between unstable and stable all day but is holding strong. The CAP seems to be responding to the new treatment so far. The first part of the flowers arrived fine, they're very pretty. I'll be bringing them to her first thing in the morning. Hopefully she'll get to go home soon...keep your fingers crossed. Take care of you.

More prayer this morning 9am PST

monica blanton said...

You are so normal and so loved, Now, go hug yourself, xoxoxoxoxox

Basic Me said...

Hi All,
Hope allis well been writing since 3 this morning.. catching up.. hope you all have had a nice weekend. I am finishing so duncan and i can have some quiet time. Maybe go to the museum or the cinema.. what a shock send the defibulator. Hope the trauma of the crack heads is over.. has anyone heard from strongerthanit. Is she on csl and registered. She didn't sound like she was feeling to great and I have been worried about her. well someone check in. I haven't heard from anyone in a while. Kris have you gotten some rest?? Sure hope so. Tell Brian I love the TCM too.. Hugs to you all . Callie

Jessie said...

Its funny parents always tell me, you have to live with it...just because its not "acting up" its still in your head. Cut yourself a break. Sometimes even the strongest people need to squeeze their fists and scream.

Charmaine said...

I was wondering if you had checked out this stuff: My D.O. made me aware of it for another illness and I do feel better overall, although through the process I imagine this is what chemotherapy feels like. I am determined to push through it as I go through the detox while the die-off effects are happening. We shall see. At the bottom if you click on "important info" it gives a good overview.

Debbie Young said...

Hey Charmaine,
How long have you been doing the protocol?
Hey Clint or Dr sue or Bav,
have you guys heard of this treatment? It sounds interesting...
love ya
happy sunday
mayor of csville

Charmaine said...

I just started this week while I haven't been working. My illness isn't curable and causes major fatigue. I started with two drops and kept gradually working my way up without nausea but it finally hit yesterday at 10 drops. The goal is to make it to 15 and then stay on a maintenance dose. Yesterday I got the nausea and diarrhea in a BAD way so I'm not brave enough to take more today but will resume tomorrow. I know these side effects are part of the die-off or "herxheimer reaction" but I definitely have had more energy. My doctor has the same illness so she is trying this out too. I just sent her an email to see how she is doing. Of course, this isn't something traditional medical people promote because it supposed to work. I will let you know for sure when I get repeat labs done.

LauraB said... it, great clip! Thanks for the laugh

Basic Me said...

Welcome charmine, this is callie sherrif of cancer city.. tell me about this process.. please at my husband has ALS like MS causes major fatigue we did some experimental anitbiotic treatments and they made him feel like garbage but he has outlived his diagnosis for 15 years.. cannot beat that. I would love to hear more. And it is nice to have you join us here.. thanks for the trouble.

Hey guys.. I hope all is well. I am having a major tough day. But nothing to complain about. more bloody coughing.. I love they keep saying this is normal for who??? But six checks.. cannot argue.. doc says it is healing.. it has just been a long week. lungs are killing me. Did make 3 of the five miles with Saatchi so she is happy so I am resting the rest of the day. cannot be to bad. We spent the afternoon taking saatchi on her walk and met her sister in the park. It is husky day I think both have been groomed and shiney and needed some show off time and some dirt back on them. Saatchi smells so perfumey though.. like it is interesting to anyone but huskies smell like vanilla milk..naturally and never smell unless they are sick.. so this perfume has go to go,,,, but she has to get her k-9 compainion cert this week and needs to look cute for the video... nothing better for flying free and staying free in hotels. then that cert.. keeps duncan safe and me not worrying she alerts him of seizures, helps with picking things up and hopefully she will be out of a job.. but we have worked hard so it is nice to be completed.

Now she can just chill. Hope all is well with you all. Checking on Dee in a mintue. Hugs Callie

Unknown said...

I don't think you're rotten at all Kris! In fact, this blog cheered me up, because I was having a dreary day.

I think you were justified, although I can understand feeling like an ass about using the cancer card. They were being inconsiderate to the umpteenth degree, and you needed to make a point. My grandmother (she is superwoman in my eyes!) used to tell me that even if there was absolute cause for it, she hated "pulling the cancer card" because it made her feel like she was weak to the point of having to throw an illness out as reasoning for something. Before she had cancer, there was no "card" she could pull as an all get out kind of thing, so she would feel like sometimes she was using her cancer as a get out of jail free card. She rarely if ever "pulled" the cancer card, but that was what she said/how she felt when she did.

I just rambled about that, lol sorry!

LauraB said...

Hey Callie
feel better, I didn't know you were coughing and were sick. I haven't been around much this week as I was so sick with pneumonia and the flu. It was horrible. Today is the first day I felt half-human. Take care of yourself and keep getting those clean results, but get those lungs healed-up. Prayers and healing hugs coming your way!!!!

Dr.Sue said...

Hi Deb,
Checked out this Miracle Mineral. The main "ingredient", chlorine dioxide is used to disinfect things. The buildings in the Anthrax scare, used to get rid of mold, which can cause legionaire's disease. I would be a little afraid of it, but who knows. I have to say though, if something is curing 60% of people in 3 days from HIV or AIDS, we'd all have heard about it. That is a little far-fetched. Even if it isn't "conventional" & not talked about much, something with that kind of power would not stay under the radar. We'll have to see what Charmaine says as she continues using it, I'm not brave enough to try anything chlorine. Obviously it's a tiny amount one would use compared to what would be used to fumigate a building, but I have reservations. That's my opinion, I hope I'm wrong.
Feel better dear, you need some rest yourself. Please take it easy.

clint said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
clint said...


So weird you brought the Miracle Mineral stuff up.... I've been on it now for 3 weeks .... and have seen some pretty wild things from it....and have a few friends on it that had some viral things ...he was up and around in a little over 2 days, after being whacked.

I've honestly been trying to "Poke holes " in his theory, but the old guy (Jim Humble) seems very genuine.... and seems truly interested in helping people, and not interested in profit.

The stuff is harmless, and is taken with juice... although it smells fucking GOD awful....

I was going to tell Kris about this stuff, but only after seeing what it's done to me and a few friends.... it a LOT stronger than ozone, and lasts longer than ozone would in the body.

I talked to 3 distributors (2 from Canada) and they were very nice people, and didn't seem like they were in it for the money (I mean, how could they, the stuff's only like $20 a pop, and lasts almost a year ! )

I think anyone who has ANY kind of cancer, should start taking this stuff, immediately ...and see if their condition improves.

I have a good feeling about this one.


Unknown said...

OK- you are Kris-freaking-Carr and you need some sleep. You think Diana Ross or Barbara Streisand would have allowed some crack head to interrupt thier sleep- and all they do is, what, sing and act??? What you're doing is WAY more important than that... so you swipe away baby. And I firmly believe the universe isn't punishing you (maybe just making you work harder for some reason to be known in the future). You are the least selfish or self absorbed person I have ever seen... the universe doesn't punish people like that.

Now take some "Kris Time". We'll be OK with out you (or with less of you)- just for a little while. Thanks to all of your and Brian's hard work, we all have each other now! We love you baby!!!


Debbie Young said...

Hey Dr Sue and Clint;
Thanks for the feedback....if the Clintagon approves then I may have to try it.. I am going for blood tests on Weds and after that I am doing a wheatgrass/colon cleanse/other wierd stuff test for 3months, in addition to all the raw and other stuff I do.
I need to see the blood test improve or I am not really wacko for trying anything...
love you all
Miss you girl..

Dr.Sue said...

I brought the Miracle Mineral up because a few posts above ours, Charmaine was talking about it. I just feel somewhat leery about it. Why don't we hear that it's making peolple with AIDS well in a matter of days? Isn't that world-breaking news? I trust your opinion & judgement, so I'm interested in the details!
Let me know.
By the way, did you see that I dated your brother, Fez?

clint said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
clint said...


Not to sound all negative n stuff...but...there is NO way we 'll hear about this stuff in the news... for the simple reason that they cannot make money off of it, as they simply don't need our help with it.

It's about the almighty dollar, and it would EAT into their profits...if anything, they'll try and outlaw it, much like they've tried to do with Ozone, and other treatments that have worked in the past (i.e. Ozone, Rife technology, etc...

There's more money to be made in treating people as opposed to curing possible "repeat customers".

To date, the guy who's created MMS, has cured over 75,000 people of Malaria, that's a pretty good track record. He is currently looking at IV treatments for better results.

Just my opinion I know.....

Here's a video of how they mix up the MMS (Miracle Mineral Solution)

Debbie, let me know how your blood tests are tomorrow...I'd be curious,


Becky said...

Well, I swiped the card on my kids not too long ago about their messy room before I could stop myself! Oh my gosh talk about feeling like a crumb. THAT was horrible. Swiping it on a crack head? Not too bad. You're awesome, Kris.

Char said...

Hello from sunny South Africa! I found your blog after I searched for your book online today. Yesterday I saw you on Oprah (our shows are a few months behind USA) and I just wanted to tell you what an enormous impact what you said had on me.
I don't have cancer. But I am infertile. I have been bitter and resentful and unhappy for so long! And what you said about life being so precious - better to be happy than to be bitter - really resonated deep within me.
I have written about you today on my blog. And I'm going to order your book online. And try to get a copy of the documentary too.
And of course I'm going to be telling as many people as possible about you and what a huge impact you made on little me!
I'll bet you never thought in your wildest dreams that your words would mean so much to someone living in the bush somewhere on the opposite side of the planet, huh?
So groovy to meet you.
from your crazy semi-sexy infertile fan in South Africa! c",)

cancer cowgirl xo said...

Hi gang!

New post from a guest blogger coming tonight. Sorry about flavs! We're going to be able to ban him very soon. Our IT peeps are on the case. May have to make this blog a membership only thing but hopefully you'll all sign up. xo

leenda said...

Hi Char! Welcome! If you haven't already done so, you must skip over to Kris's new playground...My Crazy Sexy's a forum just bursting with info and I get to excited to define it.It is a see it to believe it kinda place.WARNING!! Highly Addicting! You will love it there.Hope to see ya on the playground!Africa?Nice.

Jessie said...

Hello lovelys. Wanted to let you guys know, my name is Jessie here...but over there, its CrazySexyVixen...
Been on here reading all your wonderful posts since the beginning, I posted once in awhile. And now Im full on addicted to my.crazysexylife. haha.

Kris, now you're bonkers! haha. Who wouldn't be a member to this fantastic oasis?

Caminante said...

I don't have cancer but am walking with a 24 year-old who has Ewings and told me about Crazy Sexy Cancer (the book), which she, her sisters and mother all read and now I have, too. Fabulous.

As for swiping the card, it sounds totally justified. This post takes me back to 20 years ago when the potheads or cokeheads dunno which under me were causing such a rucus at 3.00 in the morning (every weekend) that I put dents in the floor banging on it with a broom. Eventually I went down and banged on the door. So don't feel rotten. No way.

One Mother with Cancer said...

How funny... I would not feel bad for one moment.

Cassie said...

Hi all,
I am about to post a probably unpopular opinion here...I swipe the card all the time. I'm a 20 month BC survivor, and I'm still tired all the time. I also have Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis, and one teenager and a fourth grader. So, of course I'm tired. My thought is, that card is ALWAYS part of the hand I was dealt. Why do I have to play it when it's a bad card (chemo, radiation, 2 mastectomies and menopause, all before 40), and can't play it when it's a trump card? F that. It affects me in a million ways every day, so why can't some of that be to my advantage? Now, I don't use it to abuse people or their use it to gain power or control. (But I would use it if I thought it could get me out of a speeding ticket.) I do my share of the dishes AND THEN SOME! But I don't think it's bad karma to claim and own the cancer. Embrace it, even, when called for. Getting cancer was bad juju. Not my fault, but it is what it is. It's mine now, and I'll use it if I it'll help me. BTW, swiping the cancer card on some ghetto-mama crack ho who keeps spewing bad energy all over your attempted good vibes is NOT a karma crime. In fact, I think not calling her on it is the worse crime.
Gotta go, my cancer is acting up,
Cassie in Michigan

Benita said...

Cassie-I love what you said-noddin' my head w/ every word!

drumSTRONG said...

Interesting and well rit! Krazy K,

I haven't swiped it (yet), nor, to my knowledge has my son Mason but the fact remains that (selfish) folks do need their reality smack upsidethehead on occasion. Priorities do go akimbo and the "it's all about me" mentality doesn't take into account that your ripples will wash out somebody else's sandcastle (or whatever metaphornifiaction you choose). It can be any number of stupid, bullshit actions on any given day that trips my "get your priorities straight" switch.

Hey, I know I'm preachin to the Diva AND the whole friggin' Choir here but check it out .. we've been given this card for something; credit, debit and/or cash-in-hand. Hopefully your vocalizing and personalizing made a sound impression and took. Made somebody look a bit deeper.

Yeah, use it wisely and efficiently I guess. I know you can't always forthink the aftershocks .. repercussion is karma .. is fulfilling .. let's hope everybody moves onward & upward...

Rotten? bruised maybe :: your beautiful core is pure.

All love,

Posted by drumSTRONG on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 1:25 PM

C.G. said...

Hi Kris!

I saw the doc on TLC a couple of months ago looking at your blog inspired me to write a blog about my cancer. I was wondering if you might be willing to post my blog as a link on your blog. it's
I'm just getting started as a blogger, but I've found it to be very cathartic to talk about my experience! Please let me know. Thanks so much! I hope you continue to stay strong and keep on living! Yours in solidarity, C.G.

Doctor David said...

You rock! Love your blog. What an inspiration!