Monday, February 11, 2008

Jivamukti Yoga Charleston




Hello starlight!

I just got back from a POWERFUL weekend of personal transformation and rocket growth. If you live in South Carolina please check out the new Jivamukti in Charleston some time, and if you live or visit in NYC, well then you have to go to their studio downtown -your mind will explode and your life will change. I started practicing yoga at Jivamukti in 1992. Back then I was a dancer with lots of injuries and few solutions. A friend suggested I try yoga. Yoga??? Hmmm. I wanted something hardcore, not gentle stretching for aging hippies. My only exposure to anything like yoga at the time was a video and a book my mom had. To be honest, it seemed like a snooze fest. But I trusted my friend and reluctantly trucked down to the east village. What happened next planted the seeds for the self-designed healing plan I would create 11 years later (when cancer came).

Jivamukti yoga is a form Hatha yoga. It physically challenges you to your core, but what's different about this form of yoga is that David Life and Sharon Gannon (the founders) created a modern practice rooted in the ancient wisdom found in the Upanishads, Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, the Bhagavad Gita, and the Hatha Yoga Pradipika. They believe that liberation is possible in THIS lifetime. But how?

Many of you know that yoga means to yoke, union with the divine. Think about the old black & white images of Oxen being yoked together. They are connected, walking in the same direction, however there is still space between them. In essence this is what a good marriage is: a union, commitment and understanding that we are independent souls, and though we move forward together we must allow space for growth between us on our unique journey.

David and Sharon teach that to yoke our individual experiences as small selves with the source of our being (god, Jesus, Buddha, Elvis, cosmic consciousness -whatever floats YOUR boat) is the ticket to overcoming our illusion of separateness from that source. Wow! Think about it, what if we really are all connected, all of us? If we truly digest and understand the repercussions of “otherness,” then maybe we can understand the very essence of healing the planet and ourselves.

Kick-ass, uplifting music, meditation, chanting, scripture and real-deal talks about vegetarianism, the environment, politics etc.: this is what ya get at a Jivamukti class. I loved it from day one. My mat became my church.

Fast forward to nearly 5 years ago (this Thursday) when I was diagnosed with cancer and told there was no treatment. I knew in that moment that cancer would be my guru, my teacher and that those little and big tumors were asking me to change my life. The teachings of yoga held the first clue and pointed me in the right direction. The part equals the whole. Return to nature. Why are the asanas named after animals, the sun, and the moon? To remind us of nature, the earth source, is the cord that connects to the higher source. I think we can agree that the destruction of our bodies and the planet are the results of our society wandering astray (food, environmental pollution, war, hate, slavery, violence, murder and on and sadly on). These collective wanderings alter us, to me that's cancer. When I lose sight of my path, I get scared and make foolish or self centered decisions. But when I come back to the mat and to my own personal tenets, I am reminded that the only way to achieve true power is through kindness.

Patanjali says that through continuous practice of kindness, strength is attained. That's what we're doing here in this little Crazy Sexy Community. We are awakening to the fact that we can't return to health by forcing, taking, and cursing, or by controlling the lives of others. We are mama earth's Mini Me. As the green earth turns brown, so do the precious insides and organs of the peoples (furry and feathered too) who walk and fly the surface.

After this great weekend (12 hours of yoga in 2 days – ps: Epsom salt is my best friend) I am newly inspired to re-commit to building a better, sustainable me. I'm vowing to remove the NEXT layer of obstacles from my life so that regeneration, clarity, peace, and vibrancy can flow and glow in my crazy sexy temple.

Healing, true healing is a remembering. We get out of our way and let the sun in. We move, love, acknowledge, accept AND revolt. We fill our bodies with the fuel (physical, mental and spiritual) needed to shake off the barnacles and remove the darkness. Cancer isn't your fault (I've said this many times, in many posts), but now that it's here we have this great opportunity to learn powerful tools for this life and the next. We have a chance to heal and maybe even cure. But even if the cure part doesn't happen, we can still be liberated. Beautifully, soulfully liberated.

No dis-ease can thrive when we are at-ease. So my goal is to carve that path, create my owners manuals and do unto others, as I would want done to me.


There is only one way to really do that folks.

Dismantle the present culture and then rebuild it.

Peace and warrior pose,
Kris

Ps. See you on the mat.

79 comments:

Grendle said...

Kris,

I just found out that my x-rays and bone scans from Friday are CLEAN!!!! Time to celebrate with a big green juice! Then I'm going swimming (at the indoor pool at the Y, it's about 1 degree here!) and coming home for one of my big-ass salads. Of course, there will be happy dancing through-out the day! Then, some yoga for the cherry on top! Happiness in the heartland!! Thanks for all the prayers & good thoughts!!!

Glenda

Cravin' Veggies said...

Wow, Kris. You truly touch my soul.

Peace, sister.

Lisa

cancer cowgirl xo said...

Grendle: Beautiful day! YES, electronic hug and an enormous smile. You are so powerful! xox

Lisa: ditto angel, ditto.

holistic chick said...

Hi Crazy Sexy Kris!

Thanks for your sweet comments on the other post. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! You're the best! I hope we have the chance to hang out again. I'm bummed I didn't have a chance to get to yoga over the weekend. I'm going to start taking classes. I think there going to do the same thing in May, so I'll catch the crazy yoga marathon then. I look forward to going to the NY studio when I'm there for school at the end of the year. How amazing was the live music on Friday? Such a cool atmoshere of mellow, loving, but excitment too! The more open people become to yoga, meditation, etc, the better the world will be!

Glenda - great news! Congratulations!

LYB said...

Woo-Hoo Grendle! That is BIG news and I am always happy to hear such wonderful news. Keep it, you will continue to shine!

Kris, sounds like a fabulous time. Wish I could arrange to go, in fact, one day I will! Yoga is so healing and helpful to me on a weekly basis, I would love to emerge myself for a solid weekend.

Thanks for sharing!
xoxo
Laura

clint said...

Great News Glenda.... am SO Happy for you.

Hope you do get out there and celebrate !

Clint

Basic Me said...

OH Grendle Praise the Lord and Hurrrah!!!!!!! I cannot be more happy for you.

Kris it is so strange that this post came up today we are in some sort of learning curve of the universe woman. Weird. Anyway I want to share with you the first five days of my lenten devotional. In christiainity lent is often about sacrifice. Well I decided this year to make a lenten study that will soon be a book caled "Forty Days to a New YOU. I truely believe if we can get out of our own way find our GOD. ( and in the study I am pulling for all the religons I have studied in my comparative religon classes. plus the fact that I am many things. Buddhist,jewish, christain...I am probley A little bit of everything. Anyway long story short I think since we are speaking about the same thing you and any of the csc posses may enjoy the lessons. The first is assurance of a divine creator, second is mindfulness as prayer, third is breathe as prayer, fourth is obedience as prayer, and fifth is the spirit of GOD livies within us so having your doby become sactified is a prayer. IT is rocking over there. Check it out guys. All five are in one on top fo the last so you can catch up. Today will be another added around seven. I am absolute when I say that we as human beings must begin to look inward. Disease and emtotional pollution can start and end with us if we are not careful. But we can also open the door to our higher self by practice. To do anything you must practice. The more intune we become with our higher self, GOD, whatever each of us calls the energy of life the more we have acess to the healing energy and the life force that is waiting to be awakened in our lifes. Many say we use only ten percent of our brains. Live with an engineer and you will hear that one alot. I believe we use far less of our spiritual personal power to change our lives and and inner lives for the better. We as humans put a lot of negative emphasis on things and run that track over and over in our heads but we forget to turn it off and become part of our own healing. Healing is a gift free to anyone willing to work for it. Some believe just the Buddha said you are what you seek.
I love you blog. I enjoyed Brians so much he did such a good job.
I bet you were grinning from ear to ear with joy when you tuned in. Well give the devotional a peek anyone who is on the journey to change your mind and assert your energy toward healing and opening your heart. I almost didn't write this but for some resaons this little book just popped out and I though lent needed a make over as you say. I am not about giving up things.. I think the universe is all about abundance and choicing to take in until your are full and then give it all away is one approach. I am not a big believer in sin. I believe that people are basically good and we fall away from that because we are scared or taught soemthing we repeat or just lose our way. But as in Tao the way is always the path in front of you and you should rejoice in that. And Step on it! www.basicmissions.com

Well I hope you all survived your yoga. I pushed mine a little to hard and was wondering has anyone actually felt thier tumor. I have that 14mm one that is dead but solid and boy oh boy it is in my lung and after my pump up the yoga and getting off the middle path I am feeling that little honey with every breath. Just wondering. I will try the epsom salts..

Sorry this is soo long. Glad you are home safe. I knew you would be but I have friends in all those fires in west virgina and south carolina. So I was glad it didn't get in the way of your travel.

OK. Off to get all pimped up to do a radio show. why... I should just wear my uggs and yoga clothes. naww... love you all. And get healing... those lives. as Kris says Dis-ease cannot live where there is ease.
Hugs love and veggies. Callie

OH and Kirs if you get a chance give us an update on bav everyonce and a while. I am assuming you both talk. We are all praying for her.

clint said...

Duh ~ Just woke up... I meant grendle.

;-)

FoodSciYogi said...

Yo chica caliente!
It was so wonderful meeting you and practicing in your presence this past w.end in Charleston!
You ROCK! Please do let me know if there's anything I can do to contribute to your mission and I look forward to the next crossing of our paths...

Om shanti,

Cory
foodsciyogi@gmail.com
Food Karma Alert
http://foodkarmaalert.blogspot.com/

Rhonda Radliff said...

Hey CSC posse,

Glad to read the big news Glenda! Very cool Valentines present for you!

I agree with your great post Kris, but I still have some reservations about our ability to fully heal ourselves.

No doubt 'dis-ease' within can create emotional pollution and combined with the tangible pollution... it's a powerful and lethal combo.

I agree whole heartedly that we have healing power within and combined with our healthy actions we can overcome much. It's the 'all' that concerns me.

Here's why...
I go to MD Anderson for treatment (yeah), but sometimes while I'm there I will overhear other folks 'giving advice' to some of us with 'c'. Frequently it includes something along the lines of "just let all the pain in your life go, eat right, exercise, take your meds and the cancer will be gone." Yes, I simplified it, but that's the gist.

I'm sure the folks mean well, and it may be true (I certainly hope so). However... there are many times when the cancer takes over no matter how hard the person works to be healthy, spiritual, dedicated, yoga centered, positive, etc.

It's a difficult road, and we all want to overcome whatever holds us back. Sometimes 'disease' is not the result of too little positive energy, good food, etc., but an overexposure to the unwise decisions of others (pollution, etc.)

I'm only sharing this because there may be folks reading the blog or our comments and thinking "but I am positive, and I am eating raw veggies, and I am kind, and forgivine... why is my cancer continuing to grow?"

Stretching ourselves and our muscles (minds included) means also admitting that individually we are not the all powerful. Perhaps in concert with our 'personal Evis' and in concert with one another we can rid the world of the MANY things that cause disease. But along the way, some are lost because we didn't do enough... fast enough. Not because they didn't fight hard enough.

I hope everyone knows I am sharing in love and in hope that together we can change the world and rid disease from our bodies. In the meantime, I am trying to be mindful of those whose cancer is not responding to their healthy actions and positive life.

I know of at least one person who doesn't want to share on this blog because her 'news' isn't very good at the moment. She is doing all she can, but the cancer is vicious and so far unyielding. All miracles are headed her way I'm sure, but her freedom from pain may come in another way.

Lots of love and life to all,
Rhonda
www.rhondaradliff.blogspot.com

Grendle said...

Clint,

That's ok! My name is Glenda, but Grendle is a nickname I picked up somewhere along the way.

Thanks everyone for all the comments...STAY GREEN, it does work!!

XXX00000
Glenda

Dee said...

GLENDA! Congratulations!!! *squeezes you tightly*

Kris, I really wish I could say something more than 'RIGHT ON SISTER FRIEND' but that's really...all I can muster right now.

Oh, and Jivamukti on Lexington > then Jivamukti on Broadway...but the one in Notting Hill is gooorgeous as well. Pft, I'm trying to play favorites and failing miserably, apparently. But just the fact that you go there, and have for so long, makes me crush on you that much more.

I think, you're only as strong as you feel. Which may not really make sense to anybody but me, and I'm okay with that. It's all about feeling empowered enough to have that connection between your body and your mind without neglecting your soul. You can be the strongest person in the world body wise but if that connection isn't there, then it's useless.

Ah...the ramblings of my chemo brain. Thank you 6am IV treatment!

Oh, and Epsom salt baths are...ah-mah-zing. Keep glowing you gorgeous soul you, you have no idea how inspirational you really are.

Basic Me- UGGs and yoga clothes are love. Rock em if you got em!

Oh hey look at that, I mustered more than I thought I could. Go figure. Never underestimate the power of O.N.E.

Sandra Joseph said...

Kris, my body aches at the very mention of Jivamukti. Six hours a day? Are you kidding me? I am a certified yoga instructor (though I haven't taught for several years) and I took ONE class at Jivamukti and hurt for a week in places I didn't even know could hurt. Yowza! You must be in rockin' good shape, cowgirl. I'm home in the Jers for several more weeks. Maybe I will schlep myself over to the East Village to give it another shot, this time in their ultra-beginner, bunny hill class. Then, I'd love to take myself to lunch at Pure. Have you been there?
Glenda Grendle Girl, YAHOO to YOU!!! Happy dancing for your clean and clear scans! I bet it was a long weekend awaiting the news. Sigh of relief and high-five, sister.
Clint, if I've been a less frequent poster, it's because I've been working hard on my book. Don't think I didn't notice that Kris seconded the motion about grown up bow tie boy! Told ya so, bro!

wyldegirl said...

Just to stop by here and breathe in the light of beautiful and strong women who look incredibly sexy in uggs and yoga clothes (my go-to choice as well!!)
creates some of the most uplifting moments of the day.

i've been doing yoga since i was small. . . love having "outside the box" parents!!. . .but have to admit that the jivamukti experience has still eluded me. . . everytime i'm in the city, I simply cannot find either of the east side studios, or something comes up when i go to search. . .but i'll persist on the next trip- maybe mid march, hopefully sooner!

Yoga-search rambling aside. . .
You (and by that I mean everyone swirling in and around this blog and beyond) are amazing.
xx jenny

Cravin' Veggies said...

Glenda-

I totally missed your post when I commented earlier today. Sorry =(

CONGRATS!!! That's awesome news!! I am doing a happy dance for you right this instant!! XOXO

Peace.
Lisa

Cravin' Veggies said...

Dee...

Still trying to comment on your blog and it's. not. working!!!

Is it IE that's the problem, maybe??

Grrrrrr....!

XOXO to you too. Hope you are feeling well.

cancer cowgirl xo said...

rhonda: it depends what our definition of heal is, Notice I didn't say we can cure ourselves. Though I think sometimes we can. Heal is a full person, full soul experience and I know I am healing even though there is still cancer in me. Why? I have let go of my attachment to it. Believe me I totally understand where you are coming from and I have struggled much too. Considering all I have done why isn't it gone yet!?! That's where the healing starts. i still may die from canser one day - who knows but I am confident that in my human experience I am healing my body, my mind, past relationships, karmas, contributing to the regeneration of the planet and of my future - however long it is..

Heal vs. Cured, i've blogged about it before. i am never one to say do this and you will be well. i wish I could, I wish I knew the answer. i am still discovering them everyday- we all are.

clint said...

Hey Kris,

I haven't tried Jivamukti yoga, but would like to. I was indoctrinated with Kundalini years ago, and it about kicked my butt, with the fire breathing and holding those positions for what seemed like an eternity (3-4 min) Our teacher was Sadistic.

Sandra,
Your too funny . . . your embarrassing the crap out of me with the "grown up bow tie boy" stuff . . . you crack me up.

Glad you re-surfaced and said hello.

Clint

LNastasi519 said...

Kris,
That was a great post!! I just started doing yoga this past summer and I love it. It definitely plays a part in my remission from Crohn's disease. You are so great! I enjoy every post you make!

:)
Lauren N.

cancer cowgirl xo said...

Rhonda: I made an amendment to the blog in your honor, just so it's very clear.

I hope we all feel that no matter what kind of news we get, this is a good place to share it. Nothing is guaranteed. If I could guarantee that juice would "cure" you I'd be a zillionaire. I can't. This is a place where we can all try, learn, share, vent and grow, no matter how long we have.

Dee said...

Lisa! Are you SERIOUS? What is it doing? LOL at our side convo on Kris' blog. Email me?

Dee said...

Kris- I completely agree with you, I think healing and curing are two radically different animals.

I believe that healing comes from your soul, curing, not so much.

cancer cowgirl xo said...

Dee - you are a cutie, thank you!

I just re-wrote the blog yet again, it was buggin' me...

xoxox

K
Hope it's clear....

scnewme said...

Grendle - congrats, enjoy this beautiful day and celebrate!

Rhonda, I must admit your post rings true, and serves as a reminder of the struggle that canser brings into our lives. I had a very similar conversation with someone just this weekend. I do not feel that Kris and/or the CSC community is about promoting a cure, but instead allows us to feel empowered to hope and heal ourselves on many levels.

Although a negative result is more difficult to share, it is important to overcome those feelings of guilt and helplessness and find the love and support that are so desperately needed.

For as much as we can celebrate the "miracles" and blessings of clean scans for our new friends and loved ones, our hearts ache for those who may receive any news to the contrary.

I hope this makes some sense...there is so much love to be found here.

xo Sherry

Dee said...

Oh you're welcome, and now I'm blushing. And I love the edit, I just re-read it.

Wow this blog really is the best cure for a boring class!

You can be healed even if you're never cured, I think that's the beauty of...all of this. This community, this group of people. So many of us are healing ourselves, whether it be with music (coughmecough) and greens, yoga and Viktor Frankl, crying and showers, running and screaming...whatever it may be, let it be.

There's no one size fits all when it comes to the healing of your mind, body, spirit, soul. When it works, when it really works. You just, you feel it. You feel it in your bones and theres no denying it. That's a powerful thing. That's a beautiful thing. And that's something worth searching for, however, wherever and whenever.

And to quote Spinoza and Ethics (wow nerdlette much?)
"Affectus, qui passio est, desruit esse passio simulatque eius claran et distinctam formamus ideam"

Translated it means: Emotion which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.

And I really think that that, really sums it all up for me.

Everything is what you make of it.

scnewme said...

Oh, I just realized that Kris has already commented and clarified...and you say it much better,

thanks for the love and caring so much

Sherry

clint said...

I agree Dee,

It's difficult to put into words what the true essence of the word 'Healing' is, or means to a person.

Cured to me, has meant that the Symptoms are gone..... but might still return, because it's on a physical or cellular level.

But when when a person is 'Healed', I've always felt it goes beyond the physical level (words), and into the Spiritual (Soul) . . . and is Known within.

Clint

Dianne said...

Kris,

You truly have a gift in your writing. You can take what's black and white and turn it into beautiful color!

Six hours of yoga, I'm still hurting from an hour and a half on Saturday!

Every time I read about clean x-rays & scans it just makes my day!

cancer cowgirl xo said...

Thanx Dianne! For me, writing is healing. I LOVE it, especially writing this blog! I wish I could quit everything else and just get paid to blog and chat back to every person each day. Heaven job. Pure heaven...

clint said...

C'mon Kris, ;-)

. . . you can't tell me you wouldn't miss and don't get a 'Warm Fuzzy' when your standing in front of a crowd of 300 people or more, and get to look into the eyes of some of the people in the audience...

Hmmm :-)


Clint

Elizabeth M. said...

Kris,
Hi!
I'm a long term lurker on your blog...Been reading and being inspired almost from the beginning! I love the community here and have been a little nervous about posting with the "big kids"! I'm a baby blogger myself. I love the kick ass and can do attitude, and the people here. This blog has been a lifeline for me because I have been healing from canser and trying to be thoughtful about how and when I use conventional medicine. The first thing I did was start juicing!
Callie, such a wonderful post about food over the weekend...yum.., and Clint, I so love your posts and insights...and Kris, when I read your posts it feels like a hug. thanks for your comments on yoga. I love yoga, especially Hatha yoga...a retreat would be divine!
If you have time, visit me on my blog...
mehok.wordpress.com
I'm celebrating a clear scan (yeah), and a birthday in the past week.
peace.

clint said...

Elizabeth M. :

Am glad you came out of the closet, and decided to be visible. :-)

Congratulations on your CLEAR scan... great news !

I notice (from your blog) that your doing Vit.C IV's (Cocktails I call them)... I've been doing them for a few years now and have felt incredible from them.

Was wondering, do you do them yourself, or do you go to a Doctor's office....and what's your experience from them ?

Clint

debbiedoesraw said...

GLENDA..Yes yes yes, the universe is singing YES to you and your life on earth!!!
So many blessing to you, congrats all around!
deb:)

Cravin' Veggies said...

Congrats and Happy Birthday to you Elizabeth!

Lurking is no fun... glad you've decided to de-lurk!!

Kris, I feel those hugs too when I read your posts. Ya know, the warm and fuzzy feeling inside?!?!

Callie and Clint... I just love your posts, too. They are so heartfelt and chock full of great info!!

Dee... will email you later!

Peace.
Lisa

cancer cowgirl xo said...

Welcome Elizabeth!! i can't wait to get to know you. Will check out your blog for sure. Thanks you for your sunny words.

Clint - I love my pajamas. I really love them. If I could write in my pajamas and never have to put on makeup or heels again??? I don't know...sounds pretty alkaline.

Maybe there is some truth to what you say, I sure do love meeting people from this blog and directing newbies to us when I'm out doing the healthy hussle.

Jenny said...

Hi Everybody!

Congratulations Glenda! That is so awesome! Enjoy!

I also got good news today...got results from my PET/CT...everything either "significantly" shrunk or is gone!!! Will talk to dr. again tomorrow & decide next step. I'm thrilled with the news!

Love & healing energy to you all!

Jenny said...

Glad you're home Kris! It was good to hear from your Hubby over the weekend & I'm loving In Defense of Food.

You guys are both great!

Elizabeth M. said...

Clint,
Right now I'm going to a dr office. I have a port, and am learning to use it myself so I can do the IVs at home. I've learned that Vit C from corn is not as effective as is had once been (GMO again) Vit C from beets, or virtually any other source is better. More on this later on my blog (and here if there is interest)
Kris, woo hoo! so exciting that you wrote back! yippee

Basic Me said...

OH Rhonda, have we not all asked ourselves that question so often? I get asked these questions daily...I am a good person, eat right and why has this _________happened to me. Why have my prayers not been answered. What is God waiting for? I am not sinful and people who are bad or not thinking about everything they can do to be better get off without a problem. now I know that is not the question you asked. It is just an experience that I associated with it. I have to tell you time and time again I have witnessed true and complete healing in the hospital room of a dying patient and in the hall the family hold me behind and asks why this is happening. You see to rid your life of dis-ease is not always ridding it of an illness that may or may not threaten your life. Healing is peace. If we as a community give one another love, a sharing and place to express fears, concerns and gather support, then we inform, teach and re-distrubute the new forms of staying as healthy as we can be then no matter what take our lives. We are blessed and healed. Sometimes the healings are miraclous things that happen from 1/3 grace 1/3 knowledge and 1/3 blood sweat and tears. If Noah would have given up there would have been no miracle to talk about. Life in some form would do what it does and evolve. The things is if you don't dig deeper than the surface of the idea say like an orange: you peel it right. Some of the top peel is sweet then bitter then fruit. Voila. That is the idea behind this lifestyle. Optimum health and joy. Making the most out of the lives we have. Spending our time on this planet making it a better place and when we leave it we leave knowing we did our best. We did not waste a second. We trained our bodies, removed the poisons from our food and water, gave our mind excersize and made sure we had a community of healer ... each one of us is a teacher and healer here... that could learn and share together. So that is a different kind of healing it is the vigra for life not the magic bullet for cancer. I hope you know how much it meands to me that you shared your feelings. It makes me feel so much more comfortable to come here and share mine. Positive or not. That is what we are here for. And as for the people in the hospital talking about just living your life right and curing yourself. If that worked there would be no hospital at all. I wish it did.

Well guys I am off to post my new dev. for tomorrow. I am loving debs article about "getting the glow" she is brilliant on the food facts.

hugs and grendle and sherry I lvoe the photo. Hugs and blessings I am praising in the happy dance mode... happy dance yee ha.. and everyone have a great night. Callie

totally chic girly said...

Grendle... congrats!! :) That is wonderful news.. I have such a big smile on my face :)

Elizabeth... warm welcome and congrats to you too! So glad you decided to join us here... welcome!!

debdoesraw & Dee... thank you so much for checking in on me at my blog :) Your direction and positive thoughts were greatly appreciated.

Kris... we have a big day on Feb 14th!! Your canserversary and my 1st ultrasound!! Big props...

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers for a healthy bean :)

Sandra... I was wondering where you were... nice to see you back here

goony said...

Hello everyone.

I wasn't going to post tonight because I am so sick to death of hearing myself complain, and I don't want to share bad news, but Kris reminded me that this is a place for everyone to share good and bad news. Today my FIL learned that his cancer is growing again. He has a very rare cancer, only 2-3 people a year in Cleveland, get the kind of cancer he has that has mestastisized in his lungs. The chemo kept it from growing but as soon as he stopped it gained strenghth and is now out of control. Because of his poor health, staph infection, surgery to his knee, they don't recommend the hard coor chemo, and the mild chemo probably isn't going to do anything either. The doctors said he has about 6 months. I layed in his hospital bed with him for a while today. We just held eachother and didn't say much, except how much we loved eachother. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but I was a blubbering mess. He is very scarred. They had to give him drugs to calm him down, and his doctor was surprised by his reaction to the news, because he has always had a very John Wayne attitude. The family is going to have a meeting to figure out what is best. I personally don't want him to have anymore chemo. If he only has 6 months I want him to have as good of a time as he possibly can. I told my husband I want him to come stay with us. I'm the only one that doesn't have a job, and before I had kids I was a nurses aide. I could handle it. I don't want him to live his last days in the hospital. I wish I could have changed his mind about his diet. I'll always wonder if it would have made a differnce. I haven't given up yet, I'm still going to try, but I'm afraid it might be too late now. I loved your insight on the difference between healing and curing. I had never thought of it like that before. I think that is why I like it here so much. I feel like I'm healing everytime I read everyone's posts. I take everything you guys say and try to apply it to my own life. I appreciate you all so much. Kris you continue to amaze me everytime you speak. I just can't get over your strength. You always remind me to see the beauty in things.

Jennifer

debbiedoesraw said...

@Kris: girl you are right on target...laying in bed this morning I realized that I need to peel this onion to the next layer...my decision? Do yoga and meditate daily! Love you for guiding our souls like you do..we are yoked!

@Rhonda...you know me fellow Leukemia person that I am...cure seems hard to hold, we don't have a tumor that is in one place, ours are soft and they travel...healing though, I think you already have a tight grasp on that one...stay with us here and you will heal, layer by layer, through chemo and beyond, we are like a mosh pit..you float on our energy and we all take turns being lifted up.

@Jenny:YEAH TEAM!! another clear cowgirl, that is a real sign that we are all in the same place for a reason, if nothing else then to be rowdy cheerleaders for success!
everyone:
Please visit basic mission and read my nutrition article...I used all the info I soaked up here and from Ph miracle and China study...so really, you all co wrote it too:)))
xoxooxo deb

debbiedoesraw said...

Jennifer: I am sending you giant hugs and empathy. You have so much strength and compassion, I can feel it through my computer screen...your FIL is truely blessed in you.

Love him up, make him cozy as you can, that is your gift, the best gift one person can give to another.

much love and prayers to you and your family
debbie

clint said...

Jennifer:

Am very sorry to hear about you Father in law... I can only imagine what's going thru his head right now, in trying to digest and wrap his mind around what's going on.

You HAVE to know that by you just 'being there' with him, and for all involved, has been a huge support for him and his family.

You can only plant a seed, water it, and hope that it grows. (not play God and command it to grow)

Free Will can be rough sometimes, but each of us have it, as does your FIL.
Your doing all you can Jennifer, please don't be hard on yourself with all this.

sincerely,

Clint

Sundari said...

Thank you for a peak into your yoga weekend, Kris. Chanting is such a powerful practice and it sounds like Jivamukti shares this practice with a large audience.

I lived at a Sivananda Ashram for a month for yoga teacher training and one of the most unifying and clarifying parts of my time there was morning and evening satsang. Chanting is part of Bhakti yoga, or devotional yoga, which brings you closer to your higher power. In my experience it is one of the easiest ways to shift into a positive and focused mindset. I even chant in the car! I encourage anyone who is interested in chanting to check out a local Kirtan or Satsang gathering!

I would love to try a Jivamukti class, but I can't find one in Baltimore. If anyone knows of a Jivamukti teacher or studio in the area, please let me know:)

xoxo,
Sundari

Mariely1881 said...

Hi Kris, and the CSC Community

Kris, your blog could have not come at a better time. I was finally told that there is no “cure” for my cancer. The type of ovarian cancer that I have is “rare”, and feeds of off estrogen and progesterone, so they are going to do a total hysterectomy to keep my body from producing these two hormones. After the surgery they are “going to watch and wait” because the chemo is not effective, and my canser does not respond to it, so doing more chemo will not work. As I sat at the doctor’s all I kept thinking was “How am I suppose to just wait, and watch my life just spill away, “ what do you mean, you can’t cure me, how am I suppose to live?”. I was told that my canser is not “garden variety”…. Wonderful. I cried the whole way home, nothing that anyone had said made sense to me or mattered. I locked myself in my room, and went on your blog, and there it was “But even if the cure part doesn't happen, we can still be liberated. Beautifully, soulfully liberated.” This put it all into perspective, I can’t be cured, but I can heal, believe, take it all in, and let my journey to heal inspire me. I can never express enough how supportive this community and blog has been for me this past week.
Kris you have impeccable timing, and the wonderful women, and men (Clint) have kept me Breathing….

Mariely

FoodSciYogi said...

Hi Sundari,

We have a wonderful Jivamukti satsang in Washington, DC --- and would love to have you join us!

http://www.jiva-dc.com/

Om shanti,
Cory

Lisa said...

Kris

What an amazing find to not only find you but this fabulous group of crazy sexy cancer fighting gals and Clint!

I am a newbie like Elizabeth, but I have just found you and this blog, and am just in awe now of what an inspiring group y'all are.

A friend of mine who had gone through breast surgery with the same surgeon as me recommended your book to me, and thru your amazing book found this blog!

Today's posting on healing vs curing really hits home for me as well as I near my 1 one year canservesary (noted the s you guys use instead of the c!) and how to look forward at the time of such milestones if I am really truly in a process of healing myself.

Happy early 5 year anniversary to you Kris!

Sorry I am such a late joiner, but very excited to meet everyone and I am just humbled by such honest postings with such insightful comments.

Reading this post was definetely a big "hug" for me.

Many many thanks, Lisa S (I noticed there is another Lisa on here too!)

PS Excited to maybe try out one of the beginner classes at the jivamakti uptown location - I got into yoga ironically right before my diagnosis, and it really has been such a help to keep me centered throughout the past year!

Dr.Sue said...

Kris,
The weekend sounded fabulous. I'm not too sure I could hang with you that long! I practice Bikram yoga down here, I love the 105 degrees, I can feel the toxins pouring out of my body, and it hurts so good, 2 days later for me. I'm going to look for a Jivamukti class, if not here, maybe when I go back to Mpls. I'm ready for a new challenge.

Glenda,
Awesome news on the scans & x-rays. I think you might need a little Bikram yoga to warm up!

Jenny,
Also awesome news that things are going, going, gone!

Clint,
About HGH. I know there's some info if you google, but the other 3 pharms I talked with haven't heard of cartilage regen. HGH injections aren't specific to a certain area, they affect the whole body. It's extremely expensive & no safe studies published for cartilage. That being said, hormones are interesting, I think since it takes years for cartilage to wear down, it'd take years to build it up again, so it may be possible. We got into a discussion about Glucosamine & the promising studies with that for cartilage repair/growth apparently have been proven false, more research needed.

Jennifer,
I'm truly sorry to hear about your father-in-law. I can feel how much you love him & how sad the news is for you. How lovely of you to want him to stay with you. He knows how much you love him, what more can anyone ask for? That's all any of us want, is to love & be loved, My prayers are with you & your family.
xoxo
Sue

Christine said...

Mariely,
Good to hear from you; I was thinking about you. Sorry the news is not what you had hoped. Do you want to talk off of the blog? You can e-mail me.

Clint & Callie- you are so inspirational. I lurk and post occasionally, because I'm not sure what to say; but you usually provide lots of insight..in addition to Kris.

Kris, I have never done yoga before--but have really wanted to. Suggestions for first timers? Anyone with suggestions is appreciated. Going to NYC this weekend actually and again in march, can you just drop into a Jivamukti class??

Basic Me said...

Gooney sweetie, I am so sorry about your FIL. You know you are so strong. I can feel it through your words and your decisions to give yourself so freely. That is a rare gift. I know you FIL has to be terrified and so are you but remember no one can tell the future. Just love one another. That is the best we can do. You know you both have a very special bond and I belive it was put there for a reason. What makes you relax love. Do you read, write journal.. pray.. pour your heart out... have you read tuesdays with morrie. Mitch Album wrote it and it will change your life. I think that as time goes by peace will settle in. And never stamp that date on him. He may outlive us all. Now that you may be taking him home you can make sure he has quality time. Duncan always swears he would rather have quality time then quantity.. when he first got sick he was in such pain and he couldn't move from the neck down and he said he never wanted to live like that again. I hope you always feel like you can pour your heart out. We are here and we are breathing and praying for you. Maybe when you get home you can learn the family history, make memories, read together. Help your husband no lose those precious memories. You are such a gift. It is a hard road to be a caregiver but you live in love and it is worth every minute. I love you Jennifer. We all do. Hang in there. Have peace it is almost midnight here and from now until this ordeal is passes I will be praying the rosary for you and your hubby and FIL and kids.. so if you are awake we are two in spirit. So where two or more are gathered in my name so shall I be.. remember that from catochism. Hugs darling. Write me at basic if you need anything.

I cannot believe you all did 12 hours of yoga my body is screaming vulgar things at me for the one hour i have been doing a day. Funny how we all got on that renewal at the same weekend.

Debbie wrote the best article on basicmissions.com under basic nutrition.. it is fab. she got 165 hits today.. hurrah ... I learned so much but I am also in mounring ..no more mushrooms and I thought someone was going to have to do cpr I have once a week a treat and have boiled peanuts... now I would have swore you would have to pry them out of my cold dead hands but I guess I will have an apple on friday and now I have lost my nuts.. oh.. that sounds funny sorry.. ha..like a little squrrial...running round. ha.. I am so tired I am loopy.. oh well I learned alot and I thought I was hardcore those things snuck in. It is great though. I am proud of her. Love you all Peas an carrots. Callie

Sandra Joseph said...

Sweet Jennifer,

A quick note of love before I head upstairs to bed. It's 2:30am here on the East Coast. Just think of how many prayers are being sent out to you and your FIL at all hours of the day and night from your cs family. I hope you feel our arms wrapped tightly around you. Healing, liberation, yoking...such timely words from our gorgeous cowgirl leader.
Lean on us.
Sandra

Christine said...

Jennifer:
Hugs to you...thinking of you...

xoxo

clint said...

dr.sue:

Thanks so much for the info, I appreciate you taking the time to look all that up for me. I was looking for doctor who does injections (into joints) and am gathering info to see what's developed in the last year. I think I'll wait.


Mariely:

I hope you never give up, and never stop asking for solutions to your situation. I hope you can take Kris's attitude and simply don't allow that type of "non sense" into your reality.

There are other answer's out there for you to get well, just waiting to be discovered (by You). Keep breathing... and keep logging in here

sincerely,

Clint

Becky said...

Grendle! whhooopppeee!!!!! THat is wonderful news! So encouraging and inspiring!

Kris, THanks. I have done brikram yoga before and have intended to get down there and begin again. Have the OK from my doc and lot of websites that say hot yoga is great for chemo patients. I am psyched.

it seems that that is on of the things I am missing in my arsenal.

I am realizing that I am taking on too much and I am in the process of shedding some work. THis is not easy for a freelancer but must be done. You are helping me to see that.

Take care everyone!

Barbara said...

I have been doing various yoga poses lately, though I'm ready to get into a class. I wish they weren't so expensive!! Thanks for encouraging us to change our lives by finding the meaning, our meaning -- even if we don't have cancer!

Cravin' Veggies said...

Barbara-

I completely understand the yoga-cost factor. Raising two kids, we are usually on a tight budget, and all the surplus ends up being spent on their 'necessities.' (Orthodontia, OY!)

But, tell everyone you know that you are looking for an inexpensive class. One will turn up.

You are in school, correct? Can you take a class there? College is where I took my first class (as a PE class.)

I just got back into classes at the fitness center where I work. $10 a month, 1 or 2 classes a week. $1.25 per class?!?!

Seriously, keep looking. It took me a few years to find a class I could afford to keep going to (and it is less than a crappy cup of diner coffee!!!)

Peace.

Lisa

cancer cowgirl xo said...

Mariely:

Watch & Wait.

As I mentioned, I've been digesting those words for 5 years, at first it was paralyzing, now I realize that we are ALL domesticated to watch & wait. Wait as your life slides by, do this, buy that, stay numb and for GOD SAKE do not break from the drone heard and WAKE UP.

Wellllll, at this Crazy Sexy House we disagree. While everyone else watches & waits WE get passionate. We get active. We start loving and stop holding. We heal and sometimes we even cure, but either way, we live full and complete lives. We work through the fear of a potentially shortened life and in doing so we soar higher than the average birdie.

There is more cancer between most people's left ear and right ear and I don't mean tumors.

Here you are at the beginning of a whole new world. This world is big and it has a beautiful view. Take your time to mourn the loss of your innocense and when you are ready roll up your sleeves and let's play!

You are a light being. There are shadows in each of us (for me, my shadows manifest as 24 tumors making dark spots - aka beauty marks - on a scan image). Yet every day I flood them with sun light. You can too. No matter what happens to our bodies this adventure is very very long and very very fun.

I love you from my toes to my nose,
K

Sundari said...

Hi Cory (FoodSciYogi),
I was just looking through your blog last night! What a wonderful resource. I would love to visit DC for a Jivamukti class. BTW-My spiritual name is Sundari (given to me through Sivananda yoga teacher training, but my regular name is Corinne:)) I hope to meet you when I stop by for a class.
Sundari (aka Corinne)

goony said...

You know how you wake up in the morning, and you have to focus and think, OK, what do I have to do today? Oh yeah, help my FIL heal cancer. That's all. Try to make the right decisions and say the right things. Don't cry in front of him, or will that make him think I don't care? Cry then, no then he'll get sad too. Who am I kidding, I have no control over my emotions. Push the diet thing some more, it's not too late, he can still beat this. No don't push, he only has a little time left in this world, so let him eat cake. Stop trying to control fate. Don't just let this happen. What is the right thing to do? I can love him. I know that. It's the everything else that is driving me nuts. I can't stand to see him sucking down one more chocolate milk, or one more bowl of ice cream. His doctor told my husband yesterday that he was one of only a few that they have seen, that hasn't lost weight on chemo. He eats sugar the way ya'll eat veggies. Knowing that sugar is cancer's most favorite food in the world, and watching him eat it is like torture. You should see the hospitl menu. There is no way he is going to find nutrition there. They will not be putting his knee back in. He will not walk again. So excersise is out. So what can you do when you think you know how to help heal, but the message falls on deaf ears? Pray. I don't know anything else to do. I pray that hospitals learn how to fead not just cancer patients, but all patients. His lunch yesterday consisted of a plate full of fruit with cottage cheese and chicken salad. A peach cobbler, Chocolate milk, ice cream and coffee. Great. Let's give the cancer some of it's favorite food to grow, and then we'll give the patient some really toxic drugs to keep the cancer from growing. I appreciate all your kind words. 6 months ago I would have fallen into a deep depression, but you all have given me a soft place to fall. Writing helps a lot. Especially here.
Callie, I prayed the rosary last night too. We were together in spirit. Thank you for always making me laugh.

Jennifer

Becky said...

Mariely,

Those were the first words out of my surgeon's mouth too: incurable. Treatable for a while, but that's the best I could do...that's all she said. No support, no "but here's what you can do."

And like you, Kris's book came out just in the knick of time!

Stick with us and this lifestyle and we'll all survive together! You've already made the right move by saying "What am i supposed to do sit around?" We're right with ya!

goony said...

to all the people that received postive scans this week, I'm cheering with you! I'm so happy for you guys.

For those that are awaiting or haven't received positive news, don't lose sight of your power. Like Kris said, you can control what you eat and think and those two things have changed my life. The fact that you are here is proof that you aren't the type to sit around and wait. Sit and wait. God I really don't like those two words.

Jennifer

Jay said...

Hello all,

I met Kris Carr at the Jivamukti Yoga Charleston opening
ceremonies. I had the privilege of talking to her for a few
moments. During our short chat, she suggested I check out the
"Crazy Sexy Cancer" web site. While I am certain that Ms. Carr
could not possibly care less whether I "approve" or not, I must
say that I am impressed and, yes, inspired, by the general content and message of the site. I commend Ms. Carr for putting a very positive spin on what many would consider a very "negative"
diagnosis.

I find many things about this site and all the people who contribute to it, very spiritually stimulating and uplifting.

And now a comment about the posting:

Being merely a beginner yoga student, I have only begun to scratch the surface of the postitive things that come from yoga. I can, however definitely say that I agree with the spirit of the message: Be positive and live positively and with compassion! This is the attitude that I hope to instill in my own life and in those wonderful beings with whom I am privileged to work.

Thanks again to Ms. Carr for having me check out the website.

Om Shanti to all and keep healing!

Jay

Charleston, SC

debbiedoesraw said...

Mariely
We here at CSC call it The Chronic....watch and wait...Kris is a chronic babe too...as am I and Michelle J's mom...I am sure there are others...

It is also know as watch and worry...I prefer to heal and live.two much more positive actions. Take the reins cowgirl, you are in the healing rodeo! We are all here rooting for you.
love and good thoughts
deb

debbiedoesraw said...

Jennifer/Goony
Get Anatomy of Hope...by Jerome Groopman...I know I said this before but maybe this can be our next book we all read. It will help you so much with your FIL and help you too.
love
debbie

clint said...

Jennifer:

Am glad your letting it all out girl, hopefully letting go/and letting God.

Your Father in law feels alone in all this, hence the self medicating with all the food & sweets, etc....

Why not climb aboard with him, and give him some company.... misery Loves company, right ? Buy him all the things he likes (chocolate milk, ice cream, etc...) and go with him on this....(I know, your thinking I'm crazy, right ?)

It's only then that he might change his eating habits onto a healthier path, if it's possible at all.

You've tried every other option Jennifer, except giving IN to his cravings..... some reverse Psychology could be in order her....no ?

Just a thought . . .

:-)

sincerely,

Clint

Rebecca said...

Dear hearts,

It's a balmy 26 degrees. I'm wistfully dreaming of summer so I thought I'd share a poem by one of my favorite poets. Hope it inspires good thoughts! xx

THE SUMMER DAY
by Mary Oliver


Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

MoreJoy said...

Jennifer, I can relate to your feelings regarding your FIL and his diet. My dad is riddled with cancer and will most likely be gone within a year. I have tried to green up both my parents diets in the past few years to no avial. I have given them books to read, I bring over salads, veggies, showed them how to make green smoothies, and offered to buy them a juicer. Last week my dad said "I'm going to die and I'll be eating and drinking whatever I want".

Apparently he is content with his choices and I have to take comfort in knowing I tried my best.

Please don't beat yourself up over this. The what IF'S deplete energy. Take a deep breath and realize that your FIL is very lucky to have someone like you in his life.

Extra hugs,
Joy

Annalin said...

I gotta say Kris when I watched your blog I was in tears through half of it. Everything was so real and true. My treatment right now is waiting. Waiting for the 'c' to make the next move. The spots are too little for surgery and too slow growing for chemo. Isn't Sarcoma so frustrating in that sense?

I think your documentary should come out on dvd. Lord knows I would watch it every day!

Congrats with the good news Grendle..how great =)

debbiedoesraw said...

Apparently, Flavs do NOT improve your spelling...

Chris said...

Our dear Callie,
Everytime I read your messages I feel we are all folded into your arms and into your prayers.
Your remarks here and your incredible daily lenten devotionals have given me such a needed lift.
love and hugs,
Chris in Wyoming

debbiedoesraw said...

To all:
If you have not visited The turning point which is Dancer's blog, you must go now!! I command you.. well I strongly urge you.. read her canser story, it will blow you away what a strong courageous woman she is:http://theturningpoint-dancer.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-story-re-cancer.html

Dancer-wishing you all the best on your bmb tomorrow...stay focused on the good, out with the bad.
deb

Justme117 said...

Kris!

I am sort of a yoga virgin. Er...I guess technically you cant be 'sort of' a virgin but.....

So. Just a couple weeks ago I went to the gym and did a strength training class. It was awesome but....I could not walk down the stairs for 2 days. Seriously, my legs were destroyed! I guess I overdid it a bit. Well, after a few days of not moving I thought I would try out a yoga class. I was nervous because I had never done it before and I figured everyone else in the class was probably a pro. I am also sort of uncoordinated at times and didn't want to do a face plant in front of the class. I loved it though!!!! It was so amazing. Amazing is the only word for it! I talked to the instructor a while after class. I really want to get more involved and learn more about yoga but there is so much info out there! Holy cow! I don't know where to start looking......but I LOVE it. Its so cool how it engages your mind, body and spirit. I am on a bit of a hiatus from working out now so it will be a while till I can get back on the mat. I, er... decided to go sledding and ended up tearing a ligament in my thumb. So now I have a huge cast up to my elbow and my thumb is casted so it looks like I am giving a thumbs up constantly. Ugh. So annoying.... I miss being able to grip things with my thumb. Turns out thumbs come in very handy. :)

I had a quick question. I saw a comment from a long while ago...Someone said that skim milk is bad for heart patients (me)....I didn't ever know that so I did some looking around but couldn't find what he was referring to. Just wondering if you knew...

Thanks!
Jess

clint said...

Hi justme117 (Jess):

Congratulations on your arrival on being a NON Yoga virgin ! :-)

In reference to your question on 'Skim Milk', I had read this article way back on the 'Osteoporosis Industry', and thought you might find the article interesting... below is an excerpt from that article:

THE OSTEOPOROSIS INDUSTRY:
AN UNHOLY ALLIANCE


Women are constantly bombarded with the message that the war on bone loss must include calcium supplements and a daily consumption of calcium-rich foods, primarily dairy products.

Doctors strongly recommend long-term use of (synthetic) estrogen to the post-menopausal woman, and, if additional help is required, suggest the use of bone-building drugs like Fosamax. So, armed with this powerful arsenal, a woman is assured that she will walk tall and fracture-free through the latter part of her life. Unfortunately, this is far from the truth.

Osteoporosis has spawned a phenomenal growth industry. The sale of just one estrogen drug, Premarin, grossed US$940 million worldwide in 1996.

The US dairy industry is thriving with its annual US$20 billion of revenue. And sale of calcium supplements has spiraled upwards into the hundreds of millions of dollars.

The osteoporosis industry has not only created a huge market for its wares; it has also been specifically designed to target women.

Obviously, the fear-mongering advertising campaign about osteoporosis as a 'silent thief', stalking women's bones, has paid off. Unfortunately, unsuspecting women are unaware they are really being stalked by an unholy alliance of the pharmaceutical companies, the medical profession and dairy industry who have orchestrated one of the most successful and well-planned marketing maneuvers in history.

By distorting the facts, by manipulating the statistics and by withholding scientific research in the pursuit of profits, this powerful alliance has once again jeopardized lives by exposing women to an increased incidence of such illnesses as breast and ovarian cancer, strokes, liver and gall bladder disease, diabetes, heart disease, allergies, kidney stones and arthritis.


----------------




The full article can be seen here.



or here:

http://www.nexusmagazine.com/articles/
osteoporosis.html


Clint

gem said...

"true power is through kindness" & "Healing, true healing is a remembering." i love these parts...
warmly,
gem

apoopslingingmonkey said...

goony~
I'm so sorry about your FIL ...Your asking yourself all these questions that I'd be asking myself too, and did concerning other issues in my family- all the "IF's" can just fry your brain, and screw you up, so just stop asking the "if's" and just try to breath...right now, just take 5 deep breathes and in each breath just remember, and know,and remind yourself that YOU have done everything possible to YOUR ability to help him, and that you love him and that HE knows that. If there is anything that he knows for sure right now- it's your love for him! I think that would be so so cool if you could bring him home with you, and if its your hearts desire to do so -you go girl! Talk to the docs (and don't forget they tend to be discouraging, but sometimes supportive, and they will remind you of how much hard work it might be to bring him home- but), but hospitals have social workers etc. that can help you with the all the steps to get you help to do so, and whatever medical stuff that maybe needed at home, and whatever support that you may need, they are wonderful people who will try to do their best to help you bring him home.
As for yourself, try to live each day forward with no regrets and a clean conscience knowing that you would've moved heaven and earth to help him if it were possible... but If he wont accept your greens and juices and would rather have sugar- you cant force your will over his, he has a freewill, you can lead a horse to the water but can't force him to drink... I don't know if this will help you, but it sure helped me when my grandpa was dying- I also had alot of what "ifs", and then these scriptures came to mind, the idea of destiny, and foreknowledge, about life and the timing of it, how long you get, fate etc...These brought great comfort to me- hope they will for you too :)

Psalm 39:2 I was mute and silent, I refrained even from good, And my sorrow grew worse.
Psalm 39:3 My heart was hot within me, While I was musing the fire burned; Then I spoke with my tongue:
Psalm 39:4 "LORD, make me to know my end And what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am.
Psalm 39:5 "Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight; Surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Selah.
Psalm 39:6 "Surely every man walks about as a phantom; Surely they make an uproar for nothing; He amasses riches and does not know who will gather them.
Psalm 39:7 And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.
Psalm 27:13 I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.
Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days, That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 40:17 Since I am afflicted and needy, Let the Lord be mindful of me. You are my help and my deliverer; Do not delay, O my God.
Psalm 40:11 You, O LORD, will not withhold Your compassion from me; Your lovingkindness and Your truth will continually preserve me.
Psalm 40:13 Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me; Make haste, O LORD, to help me.
Matthew 6:27 "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?

On your 'about me' section in your profile you say your "I'm a worry wart! I obsess about things and over-annalize"
So if you got a bible around the house, please read Matthew chapter 6
or here's a link-
http://www.blueletterbible.org/cgi-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?book=Mat&chapter=6&translation=nas&x=12&y=10
and if you get time look up those psalms.... I can't tell you how much the book of Psalms has impacted my life! I try to read them everyday, a psalm a day kinda thing...

You and your FIL and family, are in my prayers...

apoopslingingmonkey said...

grendle~
I'm so happy for you and your good news!

Hi to all the new non-lurkers!! :)

Justme117~
bummer about your thumb- yikes...Isn't it crazy how we take for granted a finger- lol, I once injured my ring finger playing volleyball and I couldn't play my beloved guitar for 6 months!! man it sucked lol, a few times I have hurt my thumb too-and its a pain to not to be able to use it- its crazy how much longer it takes to do such simple tasks- hope you heal quickly :)

clint~
wow! that article was kick-butt! there is some insane info in there! hmmm now I have to to re-think taking my calcium supps for sure! do you take any calcium supps?
I'd really love to know how much calcium is in a 12oz glass of greens.
do you know if the calcium is in the fiber part or the juice part?

clint said...

Hi Poopslinger :-)

I get my calcium from Sea Vegetables, and I don't think I'm getting any from a supplement.

I might get a nutrition Alamanac and look up the properties of what you need to know... I doubt thought, that the calcium would be in the fibre.

good luck,

Clint

RachelRae said...

Wow, thanks so much for sharing about your yoga experience. I started doing yoga over a year ago, mostly because my chiropractor reccomended it. I went to classes last spring, but stopped because I don't have the $$ right not to pay for it. Soon, very soon I'll get back to class! I was taking my yoga class last spring before I went to my class at the university I'm attending & it really helped me refocus and let go of the day's stress.